19 Simple Questions To Determine If You Really Hate Duke

Not sure how you feel about Duke basketball? Let this questionnaire help you discover your true feelings about Coach K and his Blue Devils.

1. How do you feel when you see this photo?

Streeter Lecka / Getty Images
ID: 879809

2. How about this one?

ID: 879845

3. Would you ever want to go to a place with a name like this?

ID: 880076

4. Have you ever used this photo as your desktop wallpaper?

ID: 879899

5. Does the sight of this man flopping make you mad?

ID: 879829

6. What do you think about players who write poetry like this?

A lightning bolt strikes
I feel a sudden energy
Thunder clouds approach
I can’t run from destiny
A tornado tears me down
But I will stand again
My life is a hurricane
But I’ll weather it to the end

ID: 879775

7. Would it help if you could see the face of the man who wrote that? Would his general existence on our planet make you angry?

Streeter Lecka / Getty Images
ID: 879812

8. Do you hate this guy?

ID: 879751

9. How about the man responsible for this foul?

ID: 880011

10. Are you sick of seeing photos like this?

Lance King / Getty Images
ID: 880218

11. Do you not find signage like this clever?

Grant Halverson / Reuters
ID: 880224

12. Does this image make you a little sick to your stomach?

Scott Halleran / Getty Images
ID: 880229

13. Do you think this animal has a strong resemblance to Duke’s head basketball coach?

ID: 880181

14. Would you allow your children to attend this summer camp?

ID: 880421

15. Are you still incredulous that a man who looks like this won a national championship?

Kevin C. Cox / Getty Images
ID: 882210

16. Would you rather sacrifice your firstborn than watch this video?

ID: 879919

17. How about this one? Would watching this send you into a month of depression?

ID: 880097

18. Is this one of the worst moments of your life?

ID: 880125

19. How do you feel now?

Angry? Upset? Looking for a trash can to vomit in?

Then congratulations! You really hate Duke!

You’re mad, and it’s OK. Take a deep breath. Here, you might want to calm yourself down by watching this:

ID: 880153
ID: 880103

And this:

ID: 880159
ID: 879868

And this:

ID: 880162
ID: 879842

Just breathe, and remember: There have been 74 NCAA men’s basketball champions. 70 have been teams not named Duke.

Maybe this year, with your non-support, America can again experience the joy of watching anyone other than Duke win it all.

ID: 880440

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