1. 1. Cookie Time -Troop Beverly Hills
Come on Academy! How could you have not acknowledged this soulful jam about cookies and time and, it being “Cookie Time”? Call me crazy but this song packs the same soulful punch as anything that came out of Jennifer Hudson’s mouth in Dreamgirls. While Troop Beverly Hills failed to receive any award nominations, it wasn’t a total loss for a young Jenny Lewis (who ironically only sings one line). She DID make it to the Golden Globes one year as Jake Gyllenhaal’s date. Almost as good.
2. Eye 2 Eye (I 2 I)-A Goofy Movie
Plenty of animated Disney movies have gotten song nominations but they’re all super lame ones like Beauty and the Beast. Dumb. For some crazy reason, the Academy turned a blind eye to Eye 2 Eye (see what I did there). Eye 2 Eye sung by the crushworthy cartoon Powerline (the 90’s dog version of Justin Bieber), is actually a great stand alone pop song. It can be played un-ironically at parties which, is one of the most important qualities a song can posses. Can you say the same thing about Be Our Guest? Nope.
3. Just What I Need-Bring It On
The Academy isn’t always against rock songs. Many a rock song has been nominated before, yet this Blink 182/Simple Plan/Good Charlotte esque song was overlooked. It’s a perfect teen love anthem and, a true testament that opposites do attract. A bubbly blonde cheerleader can fall in love with the cool edgy alternative boy from LA. There are no Oscar’s with Bring It On’s name but, it was turned into a musical to which the plot had nothing to do with the movie. No Tony’s either. :/ But we forever have Kirsten Dunst’s awkward dancing on film.
4. Billy’s Musical-Billy Madison
The Academy looooves big splashy musical numbers. They were obsessed with all of those songs from that movie where Amy Adams annoyed me as a princess. If those all made the cut why didn’t this big musical number? It’s got an epic water fountain, a verse with a creepy clown, a sassy diva maid and, children singing (ones that aren’t getting killed in the Revolutionary War…Les Mis I’m talking to you).This song also teaches the value of staying in school and raises important questions like “do you have any more gum?”.
5. She’s All That Rap-She’s All That
Some might say wait…those old people in the Academy hate rap but, guess what? Not only did It’s Hard out There For a Pimp from Hustle and Flow by Three 6 Mafia get nominated…it won! You know what else is hard out there? Choosing a prom queen. What would the students of this high school do without this rap to sway their vote in a close election? They already had enough to worry about with getting the choregraphy to Rocakfeller Skank perfected in time for prom. The Academy overlooked this song but the good news is, it won like every Teen Choice Award and Kid’s Choice and any other award show that those under 18 have a say in.
6. Rock Me Sexy Jesus-Hamlet 2
No one saw Hamlet 2. This might have taken it out of the running at the time but, this song is a classic. It might have been too risqué for the Academy but they just weren’t ready for this jelly. This song has a whole Grease meets Glee thing going on. It’s so freaking catchy and completely balls to the walls crazy. It gives everyone a little refresher in biblical history and features the panty dropping voice of a pre Pitch Perfect Skylar Astin. It’s brings up social issues that people just weren’t talking about before. I’m sure getting rocked by sexy Jesus is a confusing yet liberating experience.
7. 3 Small Words-Josie And The Pussycats
Ahh yes…Josie and The Pussycats that tiny art house flick about subliminal messages in music and the power of friendship. The whole soundtrack is great and while it is difficult to narrow down one song, 3 Small Words is really the stand out one. It’s a powerful girl power jam sung by a cool chick in cat ears and an awesome haircut. What girl listening to this didn’t want to be a “punk rock prom queen”? If you put this song on around a large group of girls, shrills of joy may ensue. Can you say that much about Academy nominated song I Finally Found Someone from The Mirror Has Two Faces? I think not. Yet another academy overlook.
8. Good Time Music-A Very Brady Sequel
Another Shelly Long movie to grace this list. Ok this one is cheating a bit because the song is actually from from the original television series but I feel like if the Academy really wanted to, they could have found a way to nominate it. The Hawaiian shirts, the guitar riffs, the upbeat message and, of course the ever lingering sexual tension between Marcia and Greg. This song is perfect. The Brady’s believe in it so much, that they keep singing after the rude flight attendant has told them to shut up. Why didn’t the Academy and everyone else believe in it? I don’t know about you but a family singing on a plane sounds a lot more entertaining than watching the same episode of Big Bang Theory over and over again during a long flight.
9. Scotty Doesn’t Know-Eurotrip
The Academy loves pain and overall sadness so why didn’t they take note of this tune? What could be more painstakingly horrible than finding out your girlfriend was cheating on you (with Matt Damon as rock star) via song in front of the whole school? Scotty Doesn’t Know is a tragic representation of one guy’s oblivion. It didn’t earn a little gold statue but the band Lustra who recorded the song, did see it skyrocket to #53 on the Billboard charts.
10. Sugar High-Empire Records
Everyone loves Empire Records. Everyone! Well not Renee Zellweger. She likes to pretend like she wasn’t in this movie. I don’t know why. Her singing is so much better than anything she did in the Oscar nominated Chicago. She’s got that young innocent raspy 90s voice and it’s great. This song makes everyone wish they worked at a record store with the opportunity to rock out on a rooftop performing to cool music lovers. Find me a number in Chicago that conveys that. You failed again Academy. You failed again.
Clint Eastwood singing in Gran Torino thanks you for your time!