Star Wars (1977)
Luke Skywalker
"Frampton Comes Alive!" by Peter Frampton
Cheezy, wants to be cooler, mastered a piece of technology that became their special weapon.
Han Solo
"Hotel California" by the Eagles
Horny, greedy, fancies themselves irresistible to woman. Not respected by intellectuals.
Chewbacca
"Cat Scratch Fever" by Ted Nugent
Loud, hairy, and always firing a gun.
R2D2
"Out Of The Blue" by Electric Light Orchestra
Lovable, unthreatening, and full of bleepy sound effects.
C3PO
"Introducing Sparks" by Sparks
Kinda prissy and built to sound British, rather annoying, no one's favorite.
Obi-Wan Kenobi
"A Farewell To Kings" by Rush
Distrustful of corrupt politicians, highly trained, fascinated by the balance of good and evil.
Stormtroopers
"Trans-Europe Express" by Kraftwerk
Human but robotic. Great as a team but kinda weak on their own.
Tusken Raiders
"Never Mind The Bollocks" by The Sex Pistols
Violent, nihilistic, and extremely un-hygienic.
Grand Moff Tarkin
"Feels So Good" by Chuck Mangione
Heartless and not very hip. Enjoys causing pain.
Greedo
"Rocket To Russia" by The Ramones
Badass, doesn't give a fuck, just doing their job, finished in under 3 minutes.
Darth Vader
"Aja" by Steely Dan
Hated by most, yet no one can defeat them. Motives uncertain.
Empire Strikes Back (1980)
Yoda
"The Jazz Singer" soundtrack by Neil Diamond
Burdened by the legacy of their religion, talented but not sexy, balding.
Boba Fett
"Women And Children First" by Van Halen
Ass-kicking, couldn't give a shit what you think, in it for the money.
Lando Calrissian
"Ladies' Night" by Kool and the Gang
Smooth, getting their thing together, wears a cape sometimes, about to sell out.
Return of the Jedi (1983)
Bib Fortuna
"Sweet Dreams" by The Eurythmics
Intimidating, into dominance and submission, fluid sexuality.
Gamorrean Guard
"Pyromania" by Def Leppard
Thinks of itself as threatening but easily overpowered. Loses limbs.
Salacious Crumb
"The Violent Femmes" self-titled album
Nasal, aggressive yet twerpy. Beloved.
Jabba The Hutt
"New York, New York: His Greatest Hits" by Frank Sinatra
In with the mob, surrounded by goons and yes-men, treats women like property.
Max Rebo
"Swordfishtrombones" by Tom Waits
The lonesome piano, the endless nights in the cabaret, the booze and loose women.
Sy Snootles
"She's So Unusual" by Cyndi Lauper
Quirky girl power, so independent and yet desiring applause.
Sarlacc Pit
"Koyaanisqatsi" soundtrack by Phillip Glass
Insane, terrifying, infinite patience required,
Ewoks
"Come On Eileen' by Dexy's Midnight Runners
Jig-dancing, horn-playing, needs shampoo.
Admiral Ackbar
"90125" by Yes
Strategic perfection, technical mastery, owner of lonely heart.
Nien Nunb
"Sports" by Huey Lewis & The News
Friendly, just wants to party, been missing since the 80's.