1. On romance.
2. On motivation.
3. On managing expectations.
Some of you may discover a wonderful vocation you’d never imagined. Others may find out life isn’t fair; in spite of your Masters from Bryn Mawr, you might end up a glorified babysitter to a bunch of dead-eyed fourth graders while your husband runs naked on a beach with your marriage counsellor.
4. On consequences.
5. On priorities.
6. On being a glass-half-full person.
7. On knowing when to let them win.
Well class, the history of our country has changed again, to correspond with Bart’s answers on yesterday’s test. America was now discovered in 1942 by ‘some guy.’ And our country isn’t called America anymore. It’s called Bonerland.