23 Words That Have A Totally Different Meaning When You Work In Marketing

More hashtags.

1. “Working hours.”

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What it means: The amount of time employees are contracted to work each day, usually 9 a.m.–5 p.m.
What it means in marketing: Leave before 9 p.m. and no promotion for you.

2. “Engagement.”

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What it means: Inciting customers to talk with your brand or product, or about your brand or product with other people.
What it means in marketing: Hashtags!

3. “Social.”

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What it means: Websites and applications that enable users to create and share content or to network with peers.
What it means in marketing: We totally have a Twitter.

4. “Mobile.”

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What it means: A wireless, portable communication device with internet browsing and social media capability.
What it means in marketing: Cha-ching!

5. “Reports.”

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What it means: An analysis of facts and statistics.
What it means in marketing: Numbers you use to lie to clients.

6. “New.”

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What it means: Doing something for the first time, or creating something that never existed before.
What it means in marketing: Let’s do what we did last year. And the five years before that.

7. “Similar.”

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What it means: Bearing a resemblance to something else.
What it means in marketing: Copy what Oreo/Old Spice did exactly.

8. “Synergy.”

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What it means: Individual units working together for a greater purpose. The sum being more than the parts.
What it means in marketing: No one really knows, but say this five times in a pitch meeting and the Candyman appears. Not in a good way.

9. “Lunch.”

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What it means: Midday meal.
What it means in marketing: Alcohol.

10. “Dinner.”

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What it means: Evening meal.
What it means in marketing: More alcohol. With a side of tears.

11. “Award.”

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What it means: A prize or trophy given to honour an achievement.
What it means in marketing: No one else entered.

12. “Guru.”

Paramount Pictures

What it means: A Hindu spiritual teacher, often used by Hollywood to be horrifically racist.
What it means in marketing: I’m a fucking asshole.

13. “Rock star.”

Frank Micelotta / Getty Images

What it means: A famous and successful performer of popular music.
What it means in marketing: I paid for all my Twitter followers. Nobody likes me.

14. “Epic.”

New Line Cinema

What it means: Grand in scale or character.
What it means in marketing: We want it to look like a million dollars. We have a $100.

15. “Return on investment.”

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What it means: A ratio used to define profitability.
What it means in marketing: A mythical formula you can’t possibly explain to the client, lest they understand how much money you lost them.

16. “Low-hanging fruit.”

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What it means: The most easily achieved tasks, goals, or targets.
What it means in marketing: Aim low. People are idiots.

17. “Going forward.”

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What it means: In the future.
What it means in marketing: I am managing the shit out of this team.

18. “Content.”

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What it means in marketing: Information made available by a website or other electronic medium.
What it means in marketing: Get the intern to Tweetgram an Instapin.

19. “Box.”

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What it means in marketing: A container with a flat base, sides, and a lid, typically square or rectangular.
What it means: Where the bad ideas live.

20. “Like.”

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What it means: A way to convey that you find something agreeable in social media.
What it means in marketing: We bought another 5,000 likes this month, because nobody gives a shit about your brand.

21. “Hashtag.”

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What it means: A signifier used in social media to group posts and updates together.
What it means in marketing: Something that took three months to come up with, get approved, and only one person used. By accident.

22. “Viral.”

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What it means: An image, video, or other piece of information circulated rapidly and widely from one internet user to another.
What it means in marketing: A mythical beast that many have heard of but few claim to have seen. Usually the first thing the client asks for.

23. “Weekends.”

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What it means: Saturday and Sunday, especially regarded as a time for leisure.
What it means in marketing: LOL.

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