49 Things You Simply Must Do In Walker County

Think of us as Jefferson County Light. Half the payday loan stores, but twice the crazy.

1. Shop at the Jasper Mall

You never know who you’ll run into! A friend! A family member! The Prince of Darkness!

ID: 2593905

2. Attend a “Brawl at the Mall”

Just don’t say it’s fake. That’s real blood. Not ketchup from Chick-fil-A.

ID: 2593923

3. Take a leak ON the Jasper Mall

Yes, there are bathrooms inside, but where’s the fun in that?

ID: 2593928

4. Go Mud Buggy Racing at Biscuit Mountain

Because it’s called BISCUIT MOUNTAIN. And if that wasn’t enough, winning the race gets you car parts. Win enough races and you can build your own car. Maybe.

ID: 2593944

5. Eat some Mexican food

Chow down on some Perico’s!

ID: 2593954

6. Eat some Mexican food

Enjoy some Cabos San Lucas!

ID: 2593961

7. Eat some Mexican foooooood


ID: 2593968

8. Sleep at the Warrior River Motel

It’s only $30 a night. And sometimes the ice water is still circulating.

ID: 2593979

9. Play some completely legal charity bingo

…but I can’t tell you where. Or that this even exists. Just scroll to the next number please.

ID: 2593990

10. Have your plans ruined by a bomb threat

You don’t have to go home, BUT YOU MUST EVACUATE THE PREMISES NOW.

ID: 2593998

11. Have your baby in a parking lot because of a bomb threat

Believe it or not, that baby was still not the worst driver in the parking lot.

ID: 2594005

12. Punch a high school football coach

Save it for the Brawl at the Mall!

ID: 2594011

13. Tell everyone how you feel about the President

Yeah. He’s definitely getting audited.

ID: 2594025

14. Listen to a legend sing

You may need to bring your Ouija board.

ID: 2594039

15. Grab a seat at the Cobb 4

No. Really. The theater is shut down. You could probably get 2 for $10 if you ask nicely.

ID: 2594049

16. Drive while being stared at by a bear

This is why they built Corridor X

ID: 2594056

17. Get 2 different types of cancer


ID: 2594058

18. Bring home some delicious take-out

We really like putting animals in the back of our truck.

ID: 2594063

19. Read the local newspaper

Classic Daily Mountain Buzzard typo.

ID: 2594068

20. Watch a high school football game

Gotta support that alma mater. Go ‘Dawgs!

ID: 2594112

21. Enjoy the Frog Festival in Sumiton

Wanna guess what ole Rainbow Head has in the cup?

ID: 2594122

22. Take a load off

or do a little more. Your call.

ID: 2594161

23. Run naked through the park

Here’s a good question: how do you get arrested for illegal possession of medication when you’re naked?

ID: 2594180

24. Fish at Smith Lake

Lewis Smith Lake is actually a beautiful body of water. And it’s deep too. Perfect for…

ID: 2594191

25. Drag a friend out for a swim in Smith Lake

That’s a floatie! not a cinder block.

ID: 2594204

26. Visit the Alabama Mining Museum

On the other side of Dora lies this treasured piece of Walker County history. Now open on the third Thursday of the month from 1:30 PM to 1:45 PM.

ID: 2594220

27. Get run over by a scooter in Walmart

You can run, but you…actually, running would probably work.

ID: 2594267

28. Buy baby pot belly pigs

Pet today. Bacon tomorrow.

ID: 2594280

29. Read the sign at Millican’s

Are tomatoes for sale? Or does Jesus just love you, Tomatoe?

ID: 2594292

30. Run for office

All you need is a yard and 150 plastic signs. It doesn’t even have to be your yard!

ID: 2594296

31. Get arrested while in office

This could really hurt Mayor Pee Wee’s re-election chances.

ID: 2594309

32. Tattoo a few minors without parental consent

Someone needs to bail her out. This back tattoo isn’t going to finish itself.

ID: 2594326

33. Support a good cause

Donations are tax deductible, right?

ID: 2594332

34. Buy some local art

You can’t spell check woodwork.

ID: 2594343

35. Do a little discount shopping

They’re only prejudiced against high prices!

ID: 2594351

36. Fear for your life driving across a bridge

Seriously, why does this bridge on Country Club Road still exist?!

ID: 2594355

37. Pawn your car

Don’t worry, you can totally pay it back.

ID: 2594379

38. Pawn your neighbor’s car

On the bright side, you got your car back.

ID: 2594391

39. Park your Lamborghini Gallardo at a Dollar General

Don’t have one? No problem! That one’s for sale.

ID: 2594418

40. Be unemployed

62%!?! No wonder we keep pawning stuff.

ID: 2594423

41. Look at these painted mules

There was supposed to be 20 of these things around Jasper, but now they’re everywhere. I think one of them is running for Sheriff.

ID: 2594437

Wait. Sorry.

…wrong jackass

ID: 2594442

42. Track the Sipsey Creature

Oh, he’s real alright. Definitely not the imagination of a town with a serious meth problem.

ID: 2594459

43. Get a speeding ticket in Sumiton

Consider them the welcoming committee for people coming into Walker County.

ID: 2594472

44. See the car show in Nauvoo

These horse-less buggies are all the rage.

ID: 2594475

45. Follow @dailymtneagle on twitter

You can do this outside of Walker County, but it’s more fun when you live it everyday.

ID: 2594510

46. Fill up your tank

Don’t worry, it still has Techron.

ID: 2594495

47. Eat at the Frosty Mug

Way better than that fancy Steel City Pops. This is good old fashioned ice cream, burgers, and grease.

ID: 2594488

48. Spit on the wall in Oakman

Yes, I’m aware of the new rule. But this tobacco juice has gotta go somewhere.

ID: 2594498

49. Learn about the birds and the bees

So that’s where baby stick figures come from?

ID: 2594346

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