24 Signs You’re From Walker County, Alabama

If the 64 on your car tag didn’t give it away.

1. You’ve eaten a biscuit at Brown’s, tanned at Sheri’s, and shopped for groceries at Odom’s. But you buy gas somewhere else.

Twitter: @DailyMtnEagle / Via Daily Mountain Eagle Parody Account

Oh, and you purchased an Alabama championship knife at Millican’s.

2. You switched to one of these tags to hide your “64”

en.wikipedia.org / Via Wikipedia

But you still haven’t used your turn signal since 2003.

3. Even when the economy was down, you could still get a job.

Twitter: @DailyMtnEagle / Via Daily Mountain Eagle Parody Account

Seriously, Green Top doesn’t care if you always pay in singles.

4. You kinda miss Big Law: Deputy Butterbean

youtube.com / Via Investigation Discovery

Or at least that part.

5. You’re pretty fired up about that new Cracker Barrel

rogerbalettie.tumblr.com / Via Random Ramjet Rumblings

If they ever build it.

6. You’ve gotten stuck behind one of these

Twitter: @DailyMtnEagle / Via Daily Mountain Eagle Parody Account

Yeah. You’re gonna be late.

7. You hope you live to see Corridor X completed. Just so you can bid farewell to that giant pothole called Coalburg Road.

Get it together, Jefferson County.

8. You had a birthday party at Sonny’s Fast Track.

facebook.com / Via Sonny’s Fast Track Facebook Page

It’s like Chuck E. Cheese. But the rats can’t talk.

9. You didn’t have ice cream trucks, you had ice cream mini-vans.

Twitter: @DailyMtnEagle / Via Daily Mountain Eagle Parody Account

The sketchier the better

10. When Friday Night Blitz or Fox 6 Sideline comes to your game, you know it’s a big deal.

Twitter: @DailyMtnEagle / Via Daily Mountain Eagle Parody Account

Better bust out the good camo for this.

11. Your trip to Walmart isn’t complete without seeing her.

peopleofwalmart.com / Via People of Walmart

Technically she has on a shirt and shoes. Which is still better than some.

12. You’ve taken a date to the Cobb 4.

Twitter: @DailyMtnEagle / Via Daily Mountain Eagle Parody Account

Because you were 16, broke, and not allowed to drive past Graysville.

13. When you graduated high school, you went to Bevill State.

Twitter: @DailyMtnEagle / Via Daily Mountain Eagle Parody Account

Best decision of you’re* life.

14. You think it’s Cullman’s fault

They started it.

15. You’re an animal lover

Twitter: @DailyMtnEagle / Via Daily Mountain Eagle Parody Account

Still waiting on someone to pick up this cat.

16. Your library is open 24/7

Twitter: @DailyMtnEagle / Via Daily Mountain Eagle Parody Account

And has a large selection of coloring books.

17. You’ve eaten a slice from Cujo’s, devoured a ham & cheese from Lacy’s, filled your gizzard at Slick Lizard, and gotten food poisoning from Hibachi Sushi Buffet.

urbanspoon.com / Via Urbanspoon

Well, that was fun while it lasted.

18. You had your own special nickname for Sumiton’s Police mannequin.

And no matter how fast you went down 78, she never pulled you over.

19. You remember when the Jasper Mall had a book store, toy store, and customers in K-mart.

Twitter: @DailyMtnEagle / Via Daily Mountain Eagle Parody Account

And the fights were always free

20. You know how to kick back and relax

Twitter: @DailyMtnEagle / Via Daily Mountain Eagle Parody Account

That’s probably not even his truck.

21. You never met a yard sale you didn’t like

Twitter: @DailyMtnEagle / Via Daily Mountain Eagle Parody Account

At least, I think that’s a yard sale.

22. You believe in the Sipsey Creature

And definitely lock your doors when driving alone at night down Pineywoods Road.

23. You know life isn’t about the destination, but the journey that gets you there

Twitter: @DailyMtnEagle / Via Daily Mountain Eagle Parody Account

Even if that journey is incredibly unsafe and against the law.

24. But you’ll always love Walker County

Twitter: @DailyMtnEagle / Via Daily Mountain Eagle Parody Account

because it sure beats anything the Free State of Winston has to offer.

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