1. You’ve eaten a biscuit at Brown’s, tanned at Sheri’s, and shopped for groceries at Odom’s. But you buy gas somewhere else.
Oh, and you purchased an Alabama championship knife at Millican’s.
2. You switched to one of these tags to hide your “64”
But you still haven’t used your turn signal since 2003.
3. Even when the economy was down, you could still get a job.
Seriously, Green Top doesn’t care if you always pay in singles.
4. You kinda miss Big Law: Deputy Butterbean
Or at least that part.
5. You’re pretty fired up about that new Cracker Barrel
If they ever build it.
6. You’ve gotten stuck behind one of these
Yeah. You’re gonna be late.
7. You hope you live to see Corridor X completed. Just so you can bid farewell to that giant pothole called Coalburg Road.
Get it together, Jefferson County.
8. You had a birthday party at Sonny’s Fast Track.
It’s like Chuck E. Cheese. But the rats can’t talk.
9. You didn’t have ice cream trucks, you had ice cream mini-vans.
The sketchier the better
10. When Friday Night Blitz or Fox 6 Sideline comes to your game, you know it’s a big deal.
Better bust out the good camo for this.
11. Your trip to Walmart isn’t complete without seeing her.
Technically she has on a shirt and shoes. Which is still better than some.
12. You’ve taken a date to the Cobb 4.
Because you were 16, broke, and not allowed to drive past Graysville.
13. When you graduated high school, you went to Bevill State.
Best decision of you’re* life.
15. You’re an animal lover
Still waiting on someone to pick up this cat.
16. Your library is open 24/7
And has a large selection of coloring books.
17. You’ve eaten a slice from Cujo’s, devoured a ham & cheese from Lacy’s, filled your gizzard at Slick Lizard, and gotten food poisoning from Hibachi Sushi Buffet.
Well, that was fun while it lasted.
18. You had your own special nickname for Sumiton’s Police mannequin.
And no matter how fast you went down 78, she never pulled you over.
19. You remember when the Jasper Mall had a book store, toy store, and customers in K-mart.
And the fights were always free
20. You know how to kick back and relax
That’s probably not even his truck.
21. You never met a yard sale you didn’t like
At least, I think that’s a yard sale.
22. You believe in the Sipsey Creature
And definitely lock your doors when driving alone at night down Pineywoods Road.
23. You know life isn’t about the destination, but the journey that gets you there
Even if that journey is incredibly unsafe and against the law.