1. No one ever asks, “Are these tires too big for my truck?”
You can also substitute truck for anything with wheels.
2. Trunk space isn’t just for groceries
ex-husbands can fit in there too!
3. Public transportation isn’t needed
Everyone can ride on Paw Paw’s porch on wheels. Even the baby.
4. Every business has a drive-thru
and if it doesn’t, just give it time.
5. Towing is an olympic sport
6. License suspended? Not a problem.
You can’t get a DUI on your 4-wheeler. Maybe. But you can…
7. Get a DUI on a stolen Walmart scooter,
and taking it a block away to the gas station doesn’t help.
8. You’ll pick up some colorful hitchhikers
and very friendly. He never stopped waving.
9. Lanes go both ways
Rudimentary traffic rules are for fools
10. Back windows are basically free billboards
Enjoy your stalkers when everything but “follow me” washes off.
11. Or make your back window a tribute to a legend
Then again, this is Walker County. It may very well be a real possum.
12. You can ride in style
Looks like someone was just treated to a fancy all-you-can-eat dinner at Ryan’s buffet.
13. You could run into the Sno Cnoe Truck
You will literally run into it while mentally spell-checking their signs.
14. With a little dirt, bumper stickers become free
MawMaw’s single and ready to mingle
15. Find out how those little stick figure children are made.
When stick figure daddy and his stick figure cousin fall in love, obviously.
16. Every car has push to start
We’re still working on the stop part.
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