1. Check the Beard
There might not be a length requirement, but there’s a testosterone prerequisite to growin’ a ‘FULL FACE FUR’ like the Robertsons can. Check it first, so you can get to workin’ on it while you accomplish the other steps.
2. Head to Toe Camo
You’re not gonna be seen, if you can’t be seen. Do the Robertsons wear camo? Does Si like Tea!?! Willie Robertson is working on a patent to camouflage his camouflage! So get to it.
3. Get You A Good Woman
These fellas are Family Men and it shows in everything they do (it’s probably how they got such beautiful women to put up with those ZZ Top whiskers). So find you one of the same and hold on tight cause Family what the Dynasty is all about!
4. Understand “The Biz” & Get Help From Hollywood
This is your audition, Jack! So, don’t waste time. Call in ‘The Big Guns’, like professional Hollywood choreographer Cris Judd, and get a routine that’ll ensure they see you in Las Vegas… errr… West Monroe, Louisiana.
5. Be Proud and Stand Tall
The Robertson Family is real down to earth. They just are who they are. So, when you gear up for that audition, be proud and stand tall… and having your pretty wife wave the flag is always a crowd pleaser (That way you can just stand there and deadpan)
6. Then Perform an Audition That’d Make a Duck Caller Holler!
You got the pitch together, now show ‘em who should be the new duck in town…
Watch the video. You’ll see how it’s done.