13. Italians really do only eat pizza and pasta.
Yet somehow everyone is still crazy skinny.
p.s. They only have what we consider to be personal pizzas and don’t even try to eat with your hands.
12. The grocery stores are never open.
Okay so it’s Sunday or sometime after 8pm and you want to get food. Well, every grocery store in the city is closed so you’ll have to settle for a kebab yet again.
11. It is always time for wine.
When a bottle of wine costs only two euros, how can I be expected not to want it with every meal?
10. The same is true for gelato.
It is the perfect dessert…snack…breakfast…lunch…dinner…everything…always…forever.
9. You need to take a number wherever you go.
Apparently standing in line is just too exhausting.
Whether it be the post office or police station get ready to constantly be looking up with hope when you hear the ding of a number change only to be disappointed when it isn’t yours.
8. Never order a salad at a restaurant
unless you want a plate of lettuce with maybe one tomato slice on it. Also, your only dressing option is oil & vinegar. So uh don’t bother.
7. Italians dress for the season NOT the weather.
Oh it’s 70 degrees in February? I don’t care what the thermometer says, it’s still winter so I’m going to need to wear every piece of clothing I own.
6. Nobody pays for bus tickets.
Sure you can buy a bus ticket every time you ride it but that could get pretty expensive. Just be like everyone else and risk it. You’ll feel cool until a conductor comes on at one of the stops and asks to see your ticket which if you fail to provide results in a fine. Just pull the old “I’m just visiting. I didn’t know you had to buy the ticket before you got on” and you should be able to weasel out of it.
5. The United States does not appreciate hot chocolate.
Italians know about quality beverages. When hot chocolate is actually made from melted chocolate then you know that this country is doing things right. I mean you would expect the nation that brought the world nutella to be on top of their chocolate game.
4. The permesso di soggiorno will be the bane of your existence.
You have to apply for a residence permit within eight days of your arrival. It requires a lot of paperwork and several trips to the police station. Only to receive your permit card probably a week before you leave to go home with no one ever once having asked to see it.
3. Being late is the same as being on time.
If you get somewhere 15 minutes late it is very likely you’ll be the first person there. Being late to class is so nice when no one stares at you while you waltz in because they genuinely don’t care that you’re not on time.
2. Aperitifs are the greatest thing ever.
Eating and drinking are truly all anyone wants to do in life and the Italians really understand that concept.
Free appetizers with my aperol spritz? Yes, please!