1. 1. Because in 2005 he lost (was first-runner up) the catholic equivalent of Miss Universe to Benedict XVI, and when Benedict couldn’t fulfill the duties of his crown (mitre) he had to go through another grueling election process and we all know how stress
I wear this mitre better anyway.
2. When Argentina passed same-sex marriage, it was an abominable to his catholic morals and then it made him the first elected pope from a country where same-sex marriage is legal.
He’s like “ugh. Come on guys. Jesus.”
3. He doesn’t have a cat named Contessina or Chico like Pope Benedict XVI did
Francis needs a cuddly companion.
4. Although he is the first pope in a very very long time to not be from Europe, he is still sneakily of %100 European decent. His parents were Italian immigrants.
Look! Even as a young person, he didn’t smile. Why so serious, Francis?
5. Even though he is younger than the last pope was at his papal conclave, he is still pretty darn old…he is 76.
And everything probably hurts.
6. He flies economy class
If I were 76 and had to fly from Argentina to Rome (a 14 hour flight) in economy I wouldn’t smile either.
7. He gets up at 4:30 am every morning, approximately the same time that everyone else in the world is going to sleep.
No party for pope.
8. Some priests don’t believe in baptizing children who are born out of wedlock. Francis thinks that everyone should be baptized.
Grrr priests. Baptism is for everybody (but lols marriage is not!)
9. He’s feeling a lot of pressure after one annonymous cardinal said “Four years of Bergoglio would be enough to change things”
“Dear God, please let me live up to their expectations”
10. He has to beat #Pontefixit on twitter
#Pontefixedit? ugh, no, that won’t work
11. Ok, so he doesn’t smile much. But when he became Pope, he did! It was documented for the world to see, and it’s adorable!
“Hehehe…little do they know, I’m going to sing ‘Don’t Cry for me Argentina’ on the balcony next…”