Promoted

Had Sex, Got Pregnant, And Died.

IT HAPPENS, PEOPLE. Maybe we all should take Coach Carr a little bit more seriously…

1. Fantine (Les Miserables)

She also loses her job, cuts off all her hair, pulls out one of her teeth, and becomes a prostitute. ROUGH.

2. Carmen (Pan’s Labyrinth)

Ofelia’s mother dies after giving birth to her and Captain Vidal’s son, all because she throws a mandrake root into the fire. Added lesson: don’t mess with mandrake roots.

3. Queen Amidala (Revenge of the Sith)

Amidala dies after giving birth to twins Luke and Leia. Weird sibling sexual tension ensues.

4. Pai’s Mom

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In Whale Rider, Paikea’s Mom and twin brother die after her birth, leaving her to become the first female leader of her Maori tribe.

5. Lady Sybil Branson (Downton Abbey)

Lady Sybil dies from eclampsia after her daughter is born.

6. April Wheeler (Revolutionary Road)

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April attempts to perform an abortion on herself, and when it goes horribly wrong she dies. (so so sad.)

7. Kit Snicket (A Series of Unfortunate Events)

In the final book of the series, Kit dies giving birth to a child, the father of which is never revealed.

8. Gertrude Steiney (Jersey Girl)

Gertrude dies giving birth to Gertie. Trend: it seems that girls are only named after their mothers if their mothers are dead. Seems a little harsh, right?

9. Emily Webb (Our Town)

Emily dies at the end of the play giving birth to her and George’s second child. Then she comes back from death to relive her 12th birthday and EVERYONE in the audience cries.

10. Don Draper’s Mother (Mad Men)

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Don Draper’s Mother died giving birth to him. Analyze this as you will.

11. Catherine Barkely (A Farewell to Arms)

After Catherine and Henry flee to Switzerland, their son is stillborn and Catherine dies. Classic depressing Hemingway ending.

12. Lo (Lolita)

Lo dies on Christmas Day in childbirth. Proof that 12 year olds should NOT be having sex with anyone, ever, no matter what.

13. Wendla (Spring Awakening)

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In both Franz Wedekind’s play and the modern musical, Wendla has sex ONE TIME, gets pregnant, and dies from a botched abortion. Possibly the epitome of had sex, got pregnant, and died.

14. Bella (Twilight)

DID NOT DIE. Conclusion? Only vampires can save you from your inevitable death- by- pregnancy- by- sex.

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