1. When the hairdresser asks why you don’t have a boyfriend:
I don’t know why nobody wants to be with me, you tell me!
2. When someone points out that you’re sunburnt:
3. When a sales assistant wants to make small talk:
4. When you make multiple purchases and get asked if you “want a bag for that?” What do you think I have more than two hands? Of course I want a bag for that.
5. When a menu describes something as “fresh.” I’d like to think the strawberries are always fresh.
Mouldy strawberries and expired cream, anyone?
6. When people stand on the right side of the escalator. Stand on the left, people.
7. When someone in the right lane is going slower than the speed limit:
8. When the waiter takes your order without writing anything down. I don’t trust you.
You’re not impressing anybody here, something is going to be wrong and I’m not going to be happy.
9. When the person sitting next to you on a plane wants to talk:
10. When people ask for directions and you know they have an iPhone.