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    Ontario Needs To Get A Clue About How To Sell Beer

    Put the beer on a truck, deliver it to stores, and sell it to people so they can get drunk. *Fin*.

    Ontario is currently undergoing the groundbreaking process of allowing grocery stores to sell beer. But not too much beer. Like, just the right amount of beer. And so: an auction process.

    Here are the rules around the bidding process for grocery stores that want to sell beer

    A really fucking complicated auction process.

    In order to explain it, the Ontario government made a map and some charts and... 😡😡 where's the part about me buying any kind of beer in any amount a block away from my house, forever?

    For initial auction, only 60 grocery stores can sell beer. There's geographic limits; 25 can be in GTA.

    Oh, right, that will never happen. Instead, grocery stores can only sell beer if they have at least 10,000 square feet of space, and there are a limited number of stores in Ontario that will get the right to sell beer. The initial lucky 60 grocery stores can only sell 6-packs. There is also a limit on how many they can sell per day.

    FML.

    Meanwhile, there is also "Pilot Program" for selling 12-packs in LCBOs.

    Ontario has a pilot project of selling 12-packs in 10 LCBO stores. Criteria for considering expanding it to 60 LCBOs:

    Major breweries and the government in Ontario are really ~nervous~ about selling 12 beers in a single box at a time anywhere other than at The Beer Store. It causes them to launch studies and Pilot Projects.

    At a press conference, Premier Kathleen Wynne talked about the complexity of selling beer.

    Wynne speaking now. "It is a complex thing to sell beer, apparently," she says

    NOPE. NOPE. WRONG.

    It's easy. Ontario, you need a lesson in beer selling, and your neighbor Quebec is ready to give it to you.

    In Quebec, grocery stores and corner stores sell beer. And wine. (Shitty wine, but it can get you drunk, OK?) Corner stores are called dépanneurs and they declare their booziness right on the goddamn signs. GET BOOZE HERE.

    They often advertise beer specials on their doors and in their windows. Nobody had to go to an auction to figure that out.

    Step inside your local dep or grocery store, and there are coolers and shelves filled with beer. Different varieties of beer. Unencumbered amounts of beer from a variety of breweries, for you to get drunk on.

    Look at this array of craft beer in a store that is not owned and operated by a shifty-eyed cartel of major brewers. In Quebec, people brew beer, the stores sell it, and it gets you drunk.

    Here is the Ontario approach, which is focused on keeping beer out of your belly.

    This many be a bit upsetting for Ontarians, but you need to know this: In Quebec many depanneurs have huge walk-in coolers filled with beer.

    Stores often have specials on beer, and this beer is frequently — but by no means exclusively — sold in 12-packs. So many 12-packs that they spill into the aisles, practically forcing themselves into your arms as you pass by.

    In Quebec, grocery stores and deps are allowed to sell individual cans and bottles. You can buy a great local brew and food and go enjoy them in the park.

    Even Tourism Montreal encourages people go buy a single beer at the store and enjoy it in the park with some food. It's official policy!

    @TorontoAsksMTL Grab a poutine to go, a beer from a corner store, sit in a park, and then FEAST while watching the locals frolic.

    Meanwhile in Ontario...

    "The government considered opening the market up to more competition, but concluded that this would result in higher prices for consumers."

    Ah, but how do they get the beer into the stores? Great question, deprived Ontarian. In Quebec there are trucks full of beer that stop at grocery stores and dépanneurs and unload the beer, so people can buy the beer.

    In Quebec, it's almost impossible to go to the dep or grocery story and not leave with some form of alcohol.

    You just wanted to go get some chips and snacks? Oops, looks like you accidentally bought some beer, too. Dommage.

    This person went to get some toothpaste, and four cans of delicious Quebec beer followed them home.

    Ontarians, try this exercise: Imagine the coolers you see in your grocery stores, but with beer in them.

    Now imagine that same wonderful scene with craft beer.

    It's called Quebec.