2. Commando it is, at ALL times.
3. The ONLY thing clear about this Staples sign is that they don’t care about their customers(‘) comfort.
4. Oh Coca-Cola, you are the undisputed king of soda. So embarrassing.
5. He’s not sorry, he ain’t closing at 4:15, and no thank you.
6. If there’s one word to never put in quotes, it’s “beer” — unless of course, we’re talking Budweiser.
7. Translation: “Momentarily” out of order. Perfect.
8. Retro! Yeah mom, you’ll get a night off the day after never.
9. Wait, is it “free” or complimentary? Jesus, so fucking confused.
10. So they’ve named themselves “Best Funeral Home” two years running.
In The News Today