The Eight Most Useless Pieces Of Exercise Equipment

Did you waste your money on any of these scams?


In the 1980s, the Thighmaster and spokeswoman Suzanne Somers basically launched the informercial virus that infects America today. The useless piece of crap was marketed by Joshua Reynolds, “who also made a great deal of money with his version of the Mood ring. Reynolds is an heir to the fortune of R. J. Reynolds, founder of R. J. Reynolds Tobacco Company.” (Wikipedia).

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The Tony Little Gazelle. I don’t have to say anything else, do I?

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This useless rubber tube is called the ViPR. Their site claims you can do…9,000 exercises with it. NINE THOUSAND. Watch this comical video.

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The Hawaii Chair—“take the work out of your workout.” Also, take the results out of your workout. What a scam.

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The Red Exerciser. Maybe even more useless than the Hawaii Chair.

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JumpSnap, the ropeless jump rope. SMFH. You could do this with, oh, two forks?

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The friggin’ Bullworker. I had one of these as a bony 15 year-old. I used that piece of shit manically, and saw zero results. ZERO.

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The Sears Roller Massager. 130 bucks in the mid-1970s was a lot to pay for what was, essentially, a masturbation machine.

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