White Dignitaries In Suits With Shovels

Future aliens will laugh themselves to death when they view these pathetic photo ops.

1. Used to be, only the real honchos got shovels. 1971, Tennessee.

2. But nowadays, everybody gets a shovel. Hey Smiley — watch what you’re doing.

Groundbreaking of a UCCS Building in Nevada.

3. Why didn’t you just invite the entire state, University of Colorado?

4. The Governator says hard hats are for girlie men.

5. The shadowy setting is ominious — it’s a groundbreaking on an NSA spy center in Utah.

6. Ah yes: the indoor fake groundbreaking. It’s another NSA building — a computing center in Maryland.

Pictured: Senator Barbara Mikulski, Rep. C.A. “Dutch” Ruppersberger, and various armed forces and intelligence figureheads.

7. Shovels with bows are very popular (via Utah).

8. TAKE MY PICTURE, TAKE IT!!!!! ( a Federal courthouse site in Austin, TX).

9. Ooh — colored sand (a BASF automotive coatings plant in Shanghai).

10. Oh good, another Disneyland.

11. Indiana Senators and Reps bend in unison.

12. Four dignitaries apparently perished during this FedEx groundbreaking in Illinois.

13. The gold blades are for “good luck.”

14. Think of all the ceremonial hard hats that have been wasted (via Utah).

15. Baseball hats? Somebody could get hurt.

16. The first “scoop” (YUCK-YUCK) of dirt for some road extension in Florida.

17. In St. Louis at a ceremony for a Mississippi River bridge. Two guys too cool for hard hats.

18. Safety vests! In California.

19. Billionaire Mayor Bloomberg gets his hands “dirty” for a new Downtown Whitney.

20. This 5-handled shovel wasn’t quite enough for a new school site in Fontana, CA.

21. Special dirt for special people.

22. Shovels with “hand” blades for an arts center at Temple University.

23. Future criminals applaud what will be a new Iowa state prison.

24. Utah Govenor Gary Herbert (center) at the cerenony for a very important new Nu Skin center. What’s with the lesser blue-handled shovels?

25. Super cool Florida Governor Rick Scott (center) “breaks” “ground” at an airport.

26. Senator Chuck Schumer has never missed one photo op in his entire career. Here he is yesterday at a ceremony for new Penn Station tunnels throwing his dirt the highest, of course.

27. Here’s a black dignitary.

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