All 52 Super Bowl Ads Right Here

In the order they appeared during the game. The winner? This print ad tweeted by Oreo. I also give one-sentence reviews.

1. Budweiser Black Crown

Summoned the bile from my stomach and dead from my brain.

ID: 857598

2. M&M’s “Love Ballad”

I don’t like M&M’s in my meatloaf, or vice versa.

ID: 857599

3. Audi

Car = PENIS.

ID: 857600

4. Hyundai “Team”

One of the least terrible ads of the evening.

ID: 857601

5. Go Daddy

BARF Refaeli.

ID: 857602

6. Doritos

Makes zero sense, but lots of product shot.

ID: 857603

7. Best Buy “Ask Amy”


ID: 857605

8. Budweiser Black Crown “Celebration”

Seriously, two of the worst beer ads ever produced.
I hate all these people.

ID: 857606

9. “Oz the Great and Powerful”

I don’t care.

ID: 857608

10. Coke “Cameras”

Not a new ad for the Super Bowl, but a good one.

ID: 857609

11. OREO

Sound and Fury, Signifying NOTHING.

ID: 857610

12. “Fast and Furious 6”

I don’t care.

ID: 857611

13. Toyota “Wish Granted”

Sound and Fury, Signifying NOTHING.

ID: 857612

14. Doritos “Fashionista Daddy”

Meh? Meh.

ID: 857615

15. Calvin Klein

His name is Matthew Terry.
I was mimicking his poses in front of the TV.
At least it was a simple ad.

ID: 857617

16. “Wolf”

Baybee Wolfie for the Win

ID: 857620

17. Bud Light “Journey”

I wanted to here more of “Superstition.”
Otherwise, a solidly unmemorable ad.

ID: 857621

18. Go Daddy

At least the sleazebags gave you a reason to buy here.

ID: 857622

19. “Star Trek Into Darkness”

I don’t care.

ID: 857623

20. Milk “Morning Run”

Sound and Fury, etc.

ID: 857624

21. Hyundai Sonata “Stuck”

Also one of the least bad ads of the evening.
Look at that! A product benefit in an ad!
How fucking novel.

ID: 857626

22. Volkswagen “Get Happy”

Racist? No.
Depressing as Hell? Yes.

ID: 857627

23. Coke “Chase”

A big stinking overreaching MESS.

ID: 857628

24. Subway “Congratulations Jared”

Depressing as Hell.

ID: 857629

25. Budweiser — The Clydesdales: “Brotherhood”

Sad and depressing as Hell.

ID: 857630

26. Taco Bell “Viva Young”

Mildly fun.

ID: 857632

27. Skechers “Man vs. Cheetah”


ID: 857634

28. Lincoln “Phoenix”

My GOD, that was boring.
Who wrote this, the CEO?

ID: 857637

29. Jeep “America Will Be Whole Again”

“There WILL be an advertiser who exploits our soldiers…”

ID: 857640

30. NFL “Surprise:

I hate American “football” so I don’t care.

ID: 857642

31. History Channel “Vikings”

I don’t care.

ID: 857643

32. “Iron Man 3”

I don’t care.

ID: 857644

33. Century 21 “Wedding”

I want to live in Century 22 where commercials like this hopefully won’t exist.

ID: 857645

34. BlackBerry “Z10”

For your sake BlackBerry, I hope the phone is better than the ad.

ID: 857646

35. E-Trade “Save It”

Time to kill the Baby, E-Trade.

ID: 857649

36. Subway “FebruANY®”

“Ha” said nobody.

ID: 857650

37. Bud Light “Lucky Chair”

At least there was Zoe Saldana.

ID: 857653

38. Axe “Lifeguard”

And Axe becomes the 127th brand to use the stupid go to space gimmick.

ID: 857654

39. Mio “Anthem”

“Change” your spokesperson, Mio.

ID: 857656

40. Kia “Hotbots”

“We want to do the tired, sexist “babes with cars” thing, but stupider. I know! robots!
Somewhere, the Svedka Fembot is masturbating. The Hotbot is Miss USA 2011 Alyssa Campanella.

ID: 857658

41. Gildan T-Shirts “Getaway”

Creepy is as Creepy does.

ID: 857659

42. Wonderful Pistachios “PSY Get Crackin’”

Is this dude’s 15 minutes up yet?

ID: 857661

43. Lincoln “Once Upon A Tweet”

“It’s a story that start with you. Because luxury always should.”
Senseless CEO copy again.

ID: 857662

44. Speed Stick “Unattended Laundry”

One of the worst of the evening.

ID: 857663

45. Beck’s Sapphire “No Diggity”

No digging it.

ID: 857664

46. NFL “Leon Sandcastle”


ID: 857665

47. Ram Trucks “Farmer”

I want my 2 minutes back.
You’re a fucking truck, settle down.

ID: 857666

48. Kia “Space Babies”

Cute, and sold me on Kia not at all.

ID: 857667

49. Tide “Miracle Stain”


ID: 857668

50. SodaStream

SodaStream would have had the best ad of the evening, if CBS wasn’t held hostage by Big Sugar. Here’s their banned ad.

ID: 857669

51. Mercedes-Benz “Soul”

Considering the actor fees and the $1.5 million song fee and the production costs, this commercial was one of the biggest wastes of money in advertising history.

ID: 857670

52. Samsung “The Next Big Thing”

You know how I know you’re gay…?

ID: 857671

53. Pepsi Next

Sorry I missed this one.

ID: 858227

Check out more articles on!

  Your Reaction?


    Now Buzzing