A Fitting End For Mr. Peanut

I say good riddance.

That’s right: KILLER. Sitting In so many foods, often with no warning, waiting to asphyxiate those allergic. The evil legume was created in 1916 by a Virginia grade schooler, Antonio Gentile, who won a $5 prize. WAS IT WORTH IT, ANTONIO?

As you can see below, Planters has recently update the anthropomorphic asshat in an attempt to make him more “relevant” and “sexy”. Note that he’s lost his trademark spats and now sports hipster Fluevogs or something.

Those butterflies in fuck-me pumps are clearly prostitutes.

If this is your piece of artwork, please let me know so I can give you all the Internet awards you deserve, hero.