1. Put some stickers on glass doors.
Will probably stop you from running. into. that. damn. door. anyway.
2. Lie on the floor and check if there’s anything a kid could pick up and swallow.
While you’re at it you’ll find all your missing socks.
3. Make sure all the plants you have are ok for kids to touch.
Unlike these ones.
4. Move your couches away from your windows.
You don’t want Superman flying out through one of them.
5. Tie in a knot all the plastic bags you have lying around.
Like the supermarket ones you keep to reuse (because you do reuse them, don’t you?), so kids don’t put them over their heads.
6. Invest in toilet lid locks…
You don’t want to have to reach for your phone in there, now do you?
7. Keep all of these out of reach.
They come with warnings for a reason.
9. And if you do: Cover electrical outlets so no one can stick their fingers in them!
10. Eat. All. Of. These. Before.
They’re bad for little kids, and also will make them hyper active. They’re bad for your pet as well, so eat away my friend!
11. Turn down the water temperature on your water heater…
It’ll help you avoid burning the baby :(
12. Make sure you don’t leave anything lying around on the stairs, someone might trip!
13. Corners are evil. Cover them all!
This will help you avoid scratches, bumps and crying. Especially crying.
14. Use doorknob covers for rooms you don’t want kids to have access to.
Like yours, for example.
15. Since we’re talking about doors: Make sure this is securely locked.
Don’t want to be chasing kids up and down the street.
16. Take your guests’ coats into a different room so kids don’t pull on them and get hit by toppling chairs.
Secretly it’s because kids have a tendency to pickpocket, but shhh don’t tell the parents.
17. Consider investing in one of these….
You can reuse when you adopt that puppy you’ve been eyeing since forever.
18. Turn the handles of pots and pans toward the back of the stove or counter.
19. Magnets are really easy to choke on. Remove!
Also, you’re not such a good poet, it was about time someone told you that.
21. Put some slip-proof mats under your rugs.
EVERYONE will benefit from this.
22. All of these must be out.
Not the time to be romantic, darling.