11 (Screwed) People Who Need A Better Tour Guide

Sometimes, trips go badly. Very badly. It’s a universal part of the human experience. But it doesn’t have to be part of your experience: Think of Contiki Vacations as your ultimate tour guide. They’ll help plan an awesome trip with people you’ll love and you won’t end up in trouble like these poor suckers.

1. These geniuses who were like, “I’m-a book my own trip!”

ABC Television / Via forums.beyond.ca

Because, what could go wrong?

2. This adventurous eater

HBO / Via fanpop.com

“Oh, I’ll just stay at a B&B and eat what the locals eat” is a fun idea… up to a point.

3. This outdoorsy tourist

United Artists / Via celebquote.com

You know what suuuucks? Having to expend valuable vacation-energy taking care of the basics like food, clothing and shelter.

4. These guys, who just want to find a restaurant that’s open

We’re all for spontaneity, but some things are just too important to try and wing it.

5. This big happy family

(c) Warner Brothers/__username__

Would you rather…

a) Eat an entire garbage bag full of pig anuses?
b) Go on another roadtrip with your family.

Tough one, right?

6. These guys who probably should have stayed home

Paramount Pictures / Via iruntheinternet.com

Planes. Trains. Automobiles. What do these things have in common? They all SUCK ON STILTS if you don’t know what you’re doing. Pro tip: Let someone handle this nonsense who gets paid to handle this nonsense.

7. These tour guides who need tour guides

Everett Collection, Inc.

Even the shortest and simplest of tours, if planned and executed by buffoons, will end in disaster.

8. This dude in the wrong part of town

United Plankton Pictures /__username__ / Via coffeeandprocrastination.tumblr.com

Sometimes your group is disorganized. Sometimes you get separated and wind up in a bad part of an unfamiliar town. Sometimes you get the bejeezus beaten out of you by angry sea creatures. These threats are real. But a good tour guide won’t let any of that happen.

9. This DIY Traveler

Getty Images

Obvs.

10. These best friends who missed their flight

(c) Buena Vista/__username__

If it can happen to Shadow, Sassy and Chance it can happen to anyone. BE PREPARED.

11. These Eurotrippers

Dreamworks Pictures / Via youtube.com

Afraid of getting stuck with some old weirdo? You should be.

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