Did I Really Just Read That? Tuthmosis, You Are A Monster.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

The first time I read this article was about 2 days ago and I couldn’t believe my eyes. I was so appalled and disgusted by what I was reading, I couldn’t bare not post about it- …wait, WHAT? …. WHAT THE FRICKLE FACKLE. WHY? (My exact thoughts after reading the title)

I’ve read so many controversial arguments, both non-supportive and supportive of his argument, that instead of arguing why he shouldn’t have posted that or stating the obvious, the bitch just has no heart. (I hope you know you just increased the growing epidemic of eating disorders in young women bro) All I’m going to do is write my opinion to each of the 5 Reasons To Date A Girl With An Eating Disorder…. *vomit*

Original 1. Her obsession over her body will improve her overall looks.
A girl who spends inordinate mental and physical energy on her looks is rarely fat. If you were to get into a long-term relationship with one of these girls, she’s also less likely to become complacent about her physique over time. Girls like this are usually deft at properly dressing their body type, which translates into a more stylish girl overall. And, because cheap clothing lines—like H&M—are shaped with straight cuts that are less labor-intensive and therefore more inexpensive, they look good in even the cheapest of shit. While they may have a “distorted body image” on the inside, that usually means staying trim and fit on the outside. Let’s not forget that fatties too, in the majority of cases, have a “distorted body image,” but in the unattractive direction.

My Thoughts 1. Her obsession over her body will ultimately make for insecurity and LOOOONG hours trying to pick out the perfect outfit. Have fun being 3943290 hours late to wherever.
A woman suffering from an eating disorder is NOT trim or fit. Becoming trim or fit takes a lot of dedication and well-balanced diet (THAT INVOLVES CARBS TOO). Didn’t anyone ever tell you a six pack starts in the kitchen? *sigh* Sorry, dude but a woman suffering from an eating disorder without a doubt looks like she needs a damn kit kat, baked inside a bar of butter, topped with nutella, and deep fried. Her obsession over her body may at first seem like it will improve her overall looks, until you realize that what you use to call your girlfriend is nothing but a depressed, emotional wreck who destroyed her own mental stability because you somehow felt like it was a ‘good idea’ to support her sickness. My dear shitbag of a boy, did your mother teach you nothing? Btw, I don’t understand your reference to the so-call ‘fatties’. If it’s referring to my Baby Got Back Ass and Curves that’ll make you Swerve then I would like to just let you know that WE just have more cushion for the pushin. It’s not the clothes that make the girl, it’s the girl who makes the clothes.

Original 2. She costs less money.
You can go out to nice restaurants and order take-out with the confidence that your expense on her will be minimal. In most cases, she’ll get a small dish–like a side salad–or just eat a little bit of whatever communal dishes you order. If you’re a hungry bastard, you can even finish off her plate. “Are you going to finish that?”

My Thoughts 2. Her one therapist bill is going to equal about 3 months of salad
YEAH DUDE. Totally good idea, bro. GO ON WITH YOUR BAD SELF. 1 year later when you decide to marry the girl to save money Have fun w/ the psychiatric and hospital bills. I hope you don’t expect kids because women suffering from eating disorders have a far less likely chance of being able to conceive. AND honestly, do you like having someone stare at you while you eat? Idk about you but I’ve had some of my best conversations with people during a meal where we’re both enjoying each other company while consuming delicious morsels of food. What’s the point of going to a nice restaurant if you aren’t going to explore the menu? Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for saving money but there are some alternatives that make it so much more fun. It’s called GROUPON. It’s every baller on a budget’s holy grail. Explore it. Learn it. Use it.

And if you want to date someone with an eating disorder because you think you’ll save money, go kill yourself now. You don’t deserve to be here, scumbag.

Original 3. She’s fragile and vulnerable.
The case has repeatedly and persuasively been made that an inflated ego and an unearned high self-esteem are among the most unattractive traits in a girl. You-go-girlist “confidence”—grounded in little more than years of being told she’s a unique and special snowflake for no other reason than she was born female—renders a woman into an insufferable turd who thinks the world revolves around her.

An eating disorder often translates into the direct opposite: a girl who’s modest, fragile, and vulnerable. Instead of having to constantly wrestle with a difficult and obnoxious girl, you’ll be dealing with a tastefully insecure girl, who’s eager to please, and wants nothing more than your approval. She’s quick to apologize for transgressions, and will make the extra effort to see you–instead of flaking on you constantly. This level of vulnerability often brings out the best in men, whose protector instinct can’t help but get activated.

My Thoughts 3. She’s fucking crazy obsessive and will eventually slit your throat while you sleep because she WILL realize you’re taking advantage of her emotional distress
First our ego is too big and then when we get just a little emotional about that 2am text message from ‘Titsffany’, its like the fucking world came crashing down on you like hell just froze over. I swear, it’s like a never-ending battle with you. No, the world does not revolve around us just because we have a little bit of confidence. Obviously the world has some of those, both men and women, who just think their shit don’t stank but I just want to let every one of you know now that YOUR SHIT SMELLS LIKE YOU JUST FUCKING BIRTHED THE DAMN KRAKEN FROM YOUR ASSHOLE.

If you’re a real man, you don’t want a girl who is vulnerable and fragile. You want a woman who is confident in herself but knows how to stay humble. I want my best to bring out your best. DONE.

Original 4. Probably has money of her own.
They aren’t too many poor girls with eating disorders. These girls come from money, and often continue to wield that spending power right into their adulthoods. Her instinct to please you will translate into her picking up tabs, coming to your door not empty-handed, or buying you little gifts.

My Thoughts 4. Any hardworking girl has money but you have to be worth her while before she spends a single penny on you.
These girls come from money? Men, if your woman loves you with all her heart, she’ll do whatever she can to make you smile minus the eating disorder. It doesn’t take an eating disorder for a woman to want to lavish you with all the luxuries in the world- It takes a genuine man who is willing to do the same back. If she loves you- she will pick up the tabs, never go to any dinner party, friends house, family gathering, or just to spend the night at home with you empty-handed. You can also count on her to pick up that quirky lame little tech-toy for you because it reminds her of you. Don’t support a sickness just because you don’t have enough self-confidence to earn a woman who actually wants to spoil you. She can eat her cake and buy you one too.

Original 5. She’s better in bed.

It’s a well-known fact that crazy girls are exceptional in the sack. A girl with an eating disorder has just the right cocktail of pent-up insecurity, neuroses, and daddy issues to ensure that your whole building knows every time you’re beating it up.

Say what you will, a girl with a mild-to-moderate eating disorder—that hasn’t excessively marred her appearance—is today’s best-buy in the West’s rapidly plummeting dating market.

My Thoughts 5. You better yobogoya soon before she passes out.
Daddy issues= she’s thinking about her dad when you spank her rather than your subpar penis. Insecurity= She’s only going to let you dip your toe in her pool of goodies. Oh, and have fun doing it in the dark because you know she isn’t going to show you all of what she’s worth. Neurosis= her depression and obsessive tendencies are only going to result in sex involving her not smiling, worrying about what to do next, and anxiety filled air mixed with awkward glances at each other.

And to top it all off, because she’s suffering from a eating disorder means she’s more than likely to be undernourished and weak which makes for poor performance. Hopefully she doesn’t pass out on you or better yet politely ask you to stop because she’s ‘tired’. EMBARRASSING, BRO.

SOOO Tuthmosis,

To the wise words of my dear friend Jennifer Lawrence

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