20 Signs You Went To American University

Congratulations! You attend the second most expensive college in the United States!

1. Your President has an uncanny resemblance to Paul McCartney.

2. You come to terms with the fact that you will need to live off food stamps the rest of your life because of your student loan debt.

3. You see a new hunger strike for Palestinians or the Syrians every day on the quad.

4. Luckily, you are now aware of the seriousness of feline aids due to the graffiti dotting campus

5. You feel bad for the horsefaced RA at the front desk that yells at you to show your ID…

6. You have gained almost 30 pounds from the TENNDAAHS at Tavern

7. You made friends with the rats in the “Letto”.

8. You know the slogan of the AU department of financial aid by heart…

9. And on the eighth day, God created TDR Mac N’ Cheese. If anyone, or any block class got in the way of your Mac N’ Cheese Wednesday, there would be hell to pay.

10. You celebrate the small victories. Like catching the elevator from Megabites without a wait.

Or finding a fork in TDR.

11. You have had one of these nights at either Fur or Ibiza

12. You know that you should NEVER ever hook up with an EI guy.

13. You involuntarily make this face when someone tells you that they go to Catholic.

14. Your facebook newsfeed is clogged with blowhard political rants from your classmates

Facebook used to be fun…

15. Though each member of your student government is an aspiring politician, it still looks like this:

Woefully inept. Just like Congress.

16. You know how AU has spent millions on advertising with the word WONK…

Yet they failed to simply look up the definition of the word on Urban Dictionary…

17. You have frequently stolen from eaglesnest or subway…

Hey, you pay 56,000 a year to go there. Everything should be included!

18. All the workers at TDR are excons. Or so the rumor goes…

You should ask Kevin to be sure

19. You have never been to that creepy Asian restaurant under the tunnel (Or met anyone who has lived to tell the tale)

It’s a shame, the staff really works hard in the kitchen!

20. You see the boys on campus do this when CSPAN comes on…

21. But what else would you expect from an elitist University in the heart of the District of Columbia?

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