6 Essential Truths From Kristen Schaal, The Daily Show’s Senior Women’s Correspondent

“Kristen Schaal: Live at the Fillmore” premieres this coming Monday night, April 1st, at midnight/11 p.m. CT on @ComedyCentral.

6. “Before I’m through tonight, oh yes, you will know what a taint is.”

“Kristen Schaal: Live at the Fillmore” premieres this coming Monday night, April 1st, at midnight/11 p.m. CT on @ComedyCentral. Watch an exclusive preview.

5. “Apparently, sex is the only power we have. Oh, that and emotional intelligence, tenacity, judgment… poison.”

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4. “Sorry ladies! The free abortion ride is over.”

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3. “Liberals aren’t bears. If anything, they’re like gerbils. They’ll eat their young if their welfare check is late.”

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2. “Let’s get this motherf**kin’ giggle-coaster rolling!”

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1. “Single women vote with their vaginas, Jon. And they only care about one issue: the s**king and the f**king.”

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