1. Florida Man
Follow the exploits of the world’s most hilariously terrible superhero, Florida Man! Watch him get drunk, get arrested, attack policemen with a pipe, and more!
2. Lord Voldemort
Who knew the Dark Lord was so snarky?
3. King Joffrey
The most slap-able king in Westeros takes to Twitter. We’ll never forgive what he did to Ned, but we keep reading his posts all the same.
4. Stealth Mountain
An account dedicated to correcting Twitter users who write “sneak peak” instead of “sneak peek”. For the grammar Nazi in all of us.
5. Modern Seinfeld
A look at what Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer would be up to if they were still kicking around NYC today. Who wouldn’t want to see Kramer move to Brooklyn, Newman join Anonymous, or Elaine ruin a Breaking Bad viewing party?
7. 80s Don Draper
The rare twitter account where the profile picture might actually be the funniest part. For best results, listen to The Cure or New Order while reading.
8. Kim Jong Number Un
Working your first job is always a bit of a learning experience. Especially when that job is being the dictator of North Korea.
9. Self Aware Roomba
Simultaneously tragic and hilarious, this handle will make you question exactly what your household appliances are thinking in their tiny robotic brains.
10. Common White Girl
We all know people like this. And we all avoid them as much as possible.
11. Kim Kierkegaardashian
For all those who felt that Kim Kardashian’s Twitter account would benefit from an infusion of existential philosophy, this one’s for you.
12. One Tweet Tony
Looks like someone took “Quit while you’re ahead” a little too literally.
13. Big Ben
The next best thing behind traveling to London. Stoners, don’t get any ideas.
14. The Batman
“It’s not who we are underneath, but what we Tweet that defines us.”
15. Nick Nolte’s Mugshot
All it takes is one bad picture for the Internet to create an entire fictional alter ego for you.
16. Not Gary Busey
Despite the fact that this is clearly NOT Gary Busey, we still like to believe that Mr. Busey is as crazy as this account is.
17. Tween Hobo
Life on the streets ain’t easy, especially if you’re twelve.
@midnight premieres tonight, and airs Monday through Thursday at 12a/11c on Comedy Central.