1.
If you dress like you're rich, people will treat you like you're rich.
2.
Protip: Sleep during your commute. (Even if you're standing.)
3.
And if sleeping during your commute isn't enough...
4.
Only work at places that appreciate your style.
5.
And getting a promotion at work? Just use reverse Psychology.
6.
And getting a date... just use reverse psychology?
7.
Why even bother buying a car if you can win one...
8.
Walking the dog? Easy peasy.
9.
Enjoying a drink while getting some sun?
10.
Why pay for all that gas when you can ride a soap-box-derby car to work?
11.
Who needs books, man? Wikipedia all the way.
12.
And socks are way too much effort. Save your strength for more important things.
13.
Like eating free food at eating contests.
14.
Ask your big cousin if you can use his handicapped pass to park closer to buildings.
15.
Ain't nobody got time for mowing the lawn!
16.
...Or walking the baby...
17.
Why pay rent when you can just sleep at work?
18.
And the light works fine like this, thank you very much.
19.
It really helps to be beautiful.
20.
Pizza vending machines are the smart machines of the future.
21.
And if all else fails...
Or get drunk. If that's your thing.
22.
(But maybe save some pee for drug tests...)
