Petition To Change The National Anthem To R. Kelly’s “Ignition (Remix)”

A great American is asking the Obama Administration to change the national anthem to R. Kelly’s “2003 hit “Ignition (Remix).” The petitioner notes the need for a song that is “hot and fresh out the kitchen.”

Behold the beauty of America, friends. Where everyone’s voice is heard.

She is a land of liberty, freedom and - according to one user of the White House’s “We The People” petition website - a land utterly bereft of a fresh national song with a solid beat and pop sensibility.

Enter: “S.R.” of Wilmington, North Carolina, the petition’s creator.

S.R. is joined by (as of about 3pm on Tuesday) 888 fellow patriots and audiophiles urging the Obama administration to consider replacing “The Star-Spangled Banner,” based on an 1814 poem by Francis Scott Key (a lawyer and amateur poet - though aren’t we all) with R. Kelly’s 2003 hit.

Now, the National Anthem we currently claim as our own is most often played by some sort of marching band. This creates a problem for music arrangers, who would need to jump into high gear and start producing some sheet music ASAP should “Ignition (Remix)” be embraced by the White House and the nation.

Fortunately, one marching band in Detroit is way ahead of us. - I’ll let them play you out.

And remember, as Mr. Kelly says: We just thuggin’ it out.

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