1. Make a tree out of food.
No one likes dragging the tree to the curb. Now, no one has to.
2. Make people earn their presents by completing a series of physical challenges.
3. Take your snowman to the next level.
No, literally. Make it several stories tall.
5. Cover every inch of the ceiling with mistletoe.
6. Dress up.
This is the last year you can do this dance and still be “topical.”
7. Play musical chairs to determine who gets seats at dinner.
Losers sit at the kid’s table, which is completely devoid of wine and, apparently, manners.
8. When family asks about your year, sound more impressive by reciting the plot to a recent blockbuster movie.
“Me? I WAS enjoying surviving a death match against 23 of my peers, but then I realized I was the figurehead for a revolution, which made me a target for the government, so I got sent to ANOTHER death match against 23 of my peers…”
9. Tell your younger relatives that elves are bad children forced into indentured servitude.
Then take them to get photos with Santa.
11. Photograph your pets in cute costumes and become internet famous.
The internet loves cats, guys. LOVES ‘em.
Please enjoy our wines responsibly. Clos du Bois, Geyserville, CA