1. Soccer onesie
It’s football or “footy”, son.
2. The Twilight series
Stephanie Meyer, aka “America’s Jane Austen”
3. Harvard spirit wear
Someone’s got an inferiority complex. Not going to name names. *Cough.* Oxford. *Cough.*
4. Anything made in Malaysia
… or any other nation formerly part of the British Empire.
5. Boston Tea Party Lego set
Let’s let bygones be bygones - this was just the early Bostonians being cheeky as all get out. Er… knowing today’s Bostonians, they were probably just drunk.
6. G.I. Joe
The thing about this, is that it actually does seem totally normal for this soldier to pair a Hawaiian print shirt with his standard issue army pants. Nothing dodgy about that!
7. L.A. Galaxy Beckham “kit”
If we’re being fair, he didn’t really “bend it” as well as we thought he would for the Galaxy, but we Americans appreciated the closer proximity to his talent [read: abs] all the same.
8. George Washington
We’re just imagining this being dragged around the halls of Buckingham Palace, and the Queen’s quip, “a wooden horse to go with his wooden teeth!”
9. A cold beer
I ask you, what is the most vital asset in American culture that we can infuse into the heart of this newest royal? COLD. BEER. Nothing else is as refreshing on a hot day, yields as much camaraderie at a sporting event, or could ever have inspired the KOOZIE as much as this chilled beverage.
“Cellar” temperature just isn’t the same. You can thank us later.
OR, you could just send a card. In hono(u)r of brand new HRH, Cleverbug is letting anyone who downloads its app send a “Congratulations” card to the royal family at Buckingham Palace for FREE. Just download, personalize, and send. Easy as American Apple pie. Smashing!