22 Things You’ll Understand If You Were Raised By Two Moms

The Kids Are All Right was eerily similar to my life. posted on

1. You’re used to hearing “Oh! Wow, hi,” after you say, “This is my mom and her partner…”

2. The first time you got your period, your moms had a candlelit dinner that included a poem reading about becoming a woman.

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3. The Annie Lennox 1995 Medusa album is lying on the floor of the car.

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4. Your moms argue over who’s Bette and who’s Tina from The L Word.

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5. You sing the harmonies to the Gay Men’s Chorus of Washington, D.C., while you decorate the Christmas tree.

6. They interrupt each other with “But, honey.”

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7. “So, what did you two do at Dinah Shore this year?” is the fastest way to end a conversation.

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8. All three of you cried over the P&G “Thank you, Mom” commercial.

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9. You always go over budget on Mother’s Day.

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10. You never run out of shampoo or conditioner.

“Honey, can I use this?”

11. You share one another’s earrings from the latest art show.

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12. You scribble out “To Mom and Dad” in Valentine’s Day cards and write “To Mom and Mommy.”

13. You put the toilet seat down in restrooms now because it was never up in the house.

14. You slowly nod your head when your mom shouts out that she’s Billie Jean King on the tennis court.

15. Your moms constantly lean over and say, “Don’t you think she’s gay?”

16. You have joint family dinners with your soccer coach and her partner.

17. Your face when your mom’s partner told you to try softball.

“Honey, throw the ball at the GLOVE.”

18. You constantly hear “Honey, I KNOW where I’m going” while your moms try to navigate on the highway in their Mazda Volkswagen.

19. You share one another’s shoes.

20. You always feel comfortable sharing your somewhat dramatic feelings with one another.

21. You still watch VHS copies of Desert Hearts and Chutney Popcorn.

 

22. You went to a Home Depot wood carving workshop when you were 6 with your mom’s partner (she was nice enough to say you made the chair when she totally did).

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