50 Shades Of Ray (Romano)

Ray Romano does a sex reenactment. Naturally, NSFW.

1. “This is wrong, but holy hell is it erotic.”

2. “I want you to become well acquainted, on first name terms if you will, with my favorite and most cherished part of my body. I’m very attached to this.”

3. “Hmm… he’s soft and hard at once, like steel encased in velvet, and surprisingly tasty…”

4. “Why is anyone the way they are? That’s kind of hard to answer. Why do some people like cheese and other people hate it? Do you like cheese?”

5. “My inner goddess is doing the merengue with some salsa moves.”

6. ” “My inner goddess jumps up and down with cheer-leading pom-poms shouting yes at me.”

7. “My subconscious purses her lips and mouths the word ‘ho.’ I ignore her.”

8. “It slips down my throat, all seawater, salt, the sharp tang of citrus, and fleshiness… ooh. I lick my lips, and he’s watching me intently, his eyes hooded.”

9. “My inner goddess looks like someone snatched her ice cream.”

10. “Sh–! It’s my mother.”

11. “I found some baby oil. Let me rub it on your behind.”

12. “I thought it was chocolate hot fudge brownie sex that we had, with a cherry on top. But hey, what do I know?”

13. “Miss Steele, you are not just a pretty face. You’ve had six orgasms so far and all of them belong to me.”

14. “I don’t remember reading about nipple clamps in the Bible.”

15. “Oh baby,” he breathes. “Welcome to my world.”

16. “I’m fucked up.”

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