1. You know that this is owned by InBev now, and you’re still bitter.
Those Clydesdales are a gosh-darn American treasure and Budweiser is the king of beers. This is fact.
2. This means home.
You’re past being impressed by the Arch and you haven’t been to the top (via world’s jankiest elevators) in years, but it means you’re back in the Lou.
3. You know in your heart that this man is the real patron saint of St. Louis.
RIP Stan the Man Musial. Seriously though, I just teared up a little.
4. You know the best concerts happen here.
What did you just step in? It doesn’t matter. You’re less than 30 feet from the band.
5. The best soda is from here.
Fitz’s is one part restaurant, one part bottling company, and all parts delicious. Fitz’s floats forever!
6. And this guy is the king of custard.
You can try to tell us that Ted Drewe’s isn’t the best frozen custard in the world, but you’re wrong. In the words of Ted himself, “It really is good, guys! And gals!”
7. You wear red and bleed blue.
We’re all friends here #BIRDS #LGB
8. You’re actually from North, South, or West St. Louis County.
And you judge people based on which county and town they’re from.
9. You know where this is, because the commercial has been in your head since you were 5.
And you know you have a friend in every gemstone business.
10. You know this is the only place for Italian food.
My personal favorite is Cunetto’s, but it’s all good.
11. You’ve had to explain toasted ravs.
Fried raviolis made with either beef, veal, or a mixture of both. They are St. Louis’ gift to the world. Embrace them.
12. It doesn’t matter if a sign says Panera, it’s a St. Louis Bread Co.
And you will fight people over that fact
13. You’re still pretty sad about Cinder the chimp.
You probably thought she was sick when you were little, but learned that she just had alopecia. She did die very suddenly a few years back, though, and everyone misses her.
14. You remember baby Raja.
And you’re pretty proud of all the kids he has now. He was the first elephant born at the zoo, and now he’s 20 years old and has four kids of his own!
15. And finally, you’ve been asked where you went to high school too many times to count.
And you will never stop being asked, and you will never stop asking. Oakville, Lafayette, Eureka, Metro, Lindbergh, St. Joe, MICDS, CBC, SLU High, WHATEVER. It says a lot about a person.