16 Reasons Eating Outside At Restaurants Is Never Fun

The hostess asks if you’d like a table outside. It’s a beautiful evening — why not? REASONS. posted on

16. In your mind, outdoor seating will be like this.

15. In reality, outdoor seating means panoramic views of traffic and scaffolding.

 

14. And maybe even a trash can.

TRUE STORY: A rat once pawed at Food Editor Emily Fleischaker’s leg while she was sitting at this exact table in New York City. She thought it was a dog, so she reached down to pet it.

13. The tables are more likely to be dirty.

12. The chairs are super uncomfortable.

“What is this, a center for ANTS?!”

11. And the only reason it’s easy to get a seat outside is because it’s freezing.

No, really. Sit anywhere.

10. Worse, your table is far away from the restaurant’s kitchen.

9. And to get the waiter’s attention, you have to be the jerk who’s like:

8. But the waiter never notices you because you’re sitting outside.

7. The food takes forever to get to you and you get hangry.

Hungry + angry = Hangry.

6. Sometimes there are insects.

Bugs are gross.

4. Even worse, you are at the mercy of pedestrians.

Go Occupy another street.

3. If it starts to rain you are screwed.

The raindrops are becoming one with her tears.

2. Parents seat their noisy kids outside, so you’ll be surrounded by them.

Because kids always want to sit outside.

1. Worst of all, you will be dragged to some of the world’s worst restaurants, just because they have outdoor seating.

Classy.

(That black fence is to keep them from running away.)

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