15. In reality, outdoor seating means panoramic views of traffic and scaffolding.
14. And maybe even a trash can.
TRUE STORY: A rat once pawed at Food Editor Emily Fleischaker’s leg while she was sitting at this exact table in New York City. She thought it was a dog, so she reached down to pet it.
12. The chairs are super uncomfortable.
“What is this, a center for ANTS?!”
11. And the only reason it’s easy to get a seat outside is because it’s freezing.
No, really. Sit anywhere.
9. And to get the waiter’s attention, you have to be the jerk who’s like:
8. But the waiter never notices you because you’re sitting outside.
7. The food takes forever to get to you and you get hangry.
Hungry + angry = Hangry.
4. Even worse, you are at the mercy of pedestrians.
Go Occupy another street.
3. If it starts to rain you are screwed.
The raindrops are becoming one with her tears.
2. Parents seat their noisy kids outside, so you’ll be surrounded by them.
Because kids always want to sit outside.
1. Worst of all, you will be dragged to some of the world’s worst restaurants, just because they have outdoor seating.