1. When you arrive at the gay bar in a cute outfit feeling fierce as fuck.
2. When you make a fabulous entrance leading your pack of total thots.
We're here ladies.
3. When you see a group of lesbians and you have a moment of total panic that it could be lesbian night.
4. When you strut up to the bar top to get you a drank and the bartender is totally ripped and shirtless.
5. When you start scoping potential crops to harvest for the night and see a hookup of Grindr past.
6. When a gray old bear tries picking you up but you ain't going that route tonight.
7. When you notice a straight bachelorette party and you politely remind one of the girls that this is a gay bar.
8. When you're trying to show off all the hard work you've been putting into the Stair Master in the disguise of dance moves.
9. When you hear the beginning of a song from your pop queen start to play and you completely lose it.
OMG IS "WORK BITCH" ABOUT TO PLAY? OMG IT TOTALLY IS!
10. And then you start turning it up on the dance floor so hard that all gay eyes are on you.
11. When you take a break from the night's gaytivities to pose for an Insta.
12. When you notice a potential thirst quencher across the bar and begin to pose sexy and cool in hopes he'll notice.
Just stretching...
13. When you're feeling suddenly generous and wanna buy a round of vodka Red Bulls for all your boys.
14. When you're left completely stunned by a fierce drag queen's look.
YAS SLAAAAY
15. When you feel the guy next to you staring at your dick while you're peeing at the trough.
16. When one of your boys suddenly becomes completely shit-faced out of nowhere and you have to put some chill into his ass.
ISWEARTOGOD IF YOU BRING UP YOUR EX ONE MORE TIME.
17. When you're trying to make your way through the crowd of men thirsting over the underwear dancers in the middle of the bar.
18. When your friends are trying to make you leave but your work here isn't finished so you ain't listening.
19. When you courageously leave your friend group to confront the bae making eyes with you.
Wish me luck ladies.
20. When you find out the gay you were throbbing over all night has a boyfriend.
21. When you give up on trying to find a boy to bring home so you just start dancing with the nearest drunk straight girl.
22. When your boys force you to leave with them for some pizza.
23. When you're trynna decide if you should eat the pizza and abandon the idea of bottoming tonight or hold out in hopes that something could still happen.
24. When the alcohol hits you all at once and you know this will be the last memory you'll have of your gay night out.
25. And when you wake up next to a complete stranger with no idea how you ended up there.
