2. The sass gods carefully choose who is born into this world with sassy panties and who is not.
3. And those sassy panties? They can never come off.
They’re on tight (and cuter than any pair of underwear you own).
4. Being sassy is basically a full-time job.
Could you throw shade on the fly 24/7? Uh no, hunty.
5. They’re impossible to read because every emotion is disguised as sass.
So stop asking me if there’s something wrong,
6. But don’t get it wrong, the sass has a purpose.
Just calling it out like it is.
7. They don’t have a filter.
Cuz filters are for Instagram.
8. It’s literally impossible for someone to sass a sasser.
So why you keep tryin’?
9. Sassy people aren’t sassy because they’re bitchy; they’re bitchy because they’re sassy.
There’s an obvious difference.
10. They’ve pledged to live by a literal take-none-of-your-basic-shit policy.
Or your royal basic highness will be sassed.
12. Enemies will be dragged and their pedicures will be reversed.
So don’t stab us in the back or we’ll give the knife right back to you.
13. Calling them sassy is actually a really nice compliment.
Like, thanks for letting me know I’m doing my job correctly.
14. Sassers have thick skin and even thicker confidence.
LAYERS OF IT.
15. They know how to work the camera so don’t even try to give them direction.
None of this “say cheese” bullshit.
16. They have empathy for those who aren’t on their level.
Because they’re going to be an easy next target.
17. Every body part attached to them can throw sass.
Like, cut my head off and my fingers will do the talking.
18. They can make the best of friends because they only speak the truth.
Oh, and your boyfriend is totally gay.