2. Every home video is filled with blackmail waiting to be used against you.
They told you to do it.
3. Your hand-me-down clothes never fit properly.
I wonder why.
4. The quick errands your mom always forced you to go on turned into a whole day of shopping.
So now you resent Target AND IT’S ALL THEIR FAULT.
5. The smell of nail polish brings back repressed memories.
And every other cosmetic product that has a scent.
6. Your action figures were constantly given makeovers.
“Go, Go Power…Barbie?”
7. You never learned how to play Battleship.
Because you only played Pretty, Pretty Princess.
8. You were banned from areas in YOUR OWN HOME during their “slumber parties.”
IN YOUR OWN DAMN HOME.
9. You were always blamed for cutting the cheese.
Even though IT WAS ALWAYS THEM.
10. You spent half of your Saturdays at cheerleading competitions.
Please, not another jock jam.
11. And the other half at Limited Too.
Life really isn’t fair.
12. You never had hot water when it came time to shower.
It wasn’t that bad after your whole body went numb.
13. And the drain was constantly clogged with hair.
14. Your family was always late to everything.
Because they took years to get ready.
15. “How’s your sister doing?” was a trigger question from your guy friends that constantly sent you into attack mode.
Even if he was innocently wondering.
16. There was always a boyfriend over, eating the limited supply of your favorite snacks.
HOW DARE YOU EAT THE LAST ZEBRA CAKE.
17. All of your pets had terrible names like “Sprinkles” or “Puppy.”
And they were tortured just as much as you.
18. The battle cries over clothes woke you up every morning.
Like, it’s just a cami. Calm down.
19. You could never watch what you wanted because a new teen soap was always on.
As a result, you knew way too much about Marissa’s lesbian phase.
20. Your least favorite season was prom season:
Because everyone was on edge.
21. And one week out of every month, it was better off if you just stayed in your room.
At least all of your sisters were on the same cycle.