1. First of all, Jedi robes are seriously the worst. Like escalators are totally off limits and you’re constantly getting stuck in doors.
2. Not to mention how terribly hot they can get during a Tatooine summer.
LIKE TWO DAMN SUNS.
3. And don’t even get me started on how hard it is to get all of the wookiee hair out of them.
4. There comes a point when you become completely desensitized to the fact that the lightsaber is the most deadly weapon in all of the galaxy.
5. And that’s never a good thing because you’re ALWAYS one misuse of a lightsaber away from losing a limb.
6. UGH. And when you can’t find the color lightsaber you want? WHAT THE ASTRAL!
7. It’s the absolute worst when your braid is finally the length you want and THE HAIRDRESSER CHOPS IT OFF.
8. And nothing gets your belt loop more in a bunch than when your Podracer is out of gas and the prices are up like 20 druggats per gallon.
9. So in order to save some druggats, you have to take an Eopie to work.
Those humps are not comfortable.
10. Vacationing is never easy because half of the time the planet you were going to visit gets blown up by the Death Star’s superlaser.
Like you’d give anything to frolic one last time through Alderaan.
11. And nothing is shittier than getting assigned to travel to planet Hoth but you totally forgot to pack your winter robes.
12. So now you have to go through the process of killing an innocent tauntaun so you can use its fat for warmth.
13. And when you’re sent a nude hologram and open it up in public? SO AWKWARD.
14. There’s never a right answer of where you should put “Jedi Knight” on your resume.
15. And it seems like every day there’s another Womprat infestation in the Jedi Temple.
16. Losing your Padawan to the dark side can be so discouraging.
17. Or when you TRUST a Clone Trooper and then they totally turn on you.
YOU WERE CREATED TO SERVE THE GRAND ARMY OF THE REPUBLIC!
18. And then on top of it all, they went and told everyone that you kissed your illegitimate sister.
So uncalled for.
19. But absolutely nothing is a bigger problem than when you try to use the Force and a bowel movement happens instead.
- A conservation group in Zimbabwe reported that Jericho, the brother of beloved lion Cecil, was shot and killed by a hunter. But some scientists monitoring the pride believe he is OK.
- Joe Biden has begun to "actively explore a possible presidential campaign," the New York Times reports.
- The trooper who pulled over Sandra Bland was disciplined for "unprofessional conduct" in the fall of 2014, records show.