If, for some reason, you weren't paying attention to headlines earlier this week, rumors were swirling Taylor called it quits with Calvin Harris because he was spotted leaving a "sketchy" massage parlor.
However, Calvin was quick to shut down the breakup rumors with a ~somewhat~ threatening tweet that Taylor then favorited.
It's not going to be a 'happy ending' for everyone I sue for defamation of character for all these bullshit stories bye bye
BUT, on October 15th, 2015, Calvin was spotted leaving the grocery store...
...And I don't know guys — THIS LOOKS PRETTY SKETCHY TO ME.
First of all, his undershirt is untucked. FASHION STATEMENT OR SKETCHY STATEMENT?
Why, Calvin? What were you doing in the grocery store that left your undershirt untucked?
Not to mention, TWO of the buttons on his shirt are undone. HOW PECULIAR/PROMISCUOUS.
WHY JUST TWO CALVIN? WHY NOT NONE? WHY NOT ALL?
WEEEEEEEEEIRD!
Calvin's facial expression doesn't show any signs of hunger, so why is he getting groceries? THERE'S NO NEED FOR THEM.
THERE'S NO HUNGER ON THAT MAN'S FACE! SOMETHING IS UP.
In a separate photo, Calvin is seen SMIZING. LITERALLY SMIZING.
You don't smize unless something goes down in a grocery store. WE KNOW WHAT YOU DID CALVIN!
And on top of everything, Calvin bought not just ONE bag full of groceries...
...BUT TWO! WHHHHHHATTTTT?!?!?!
Whoa. I have no words.
Now that the evidence has been presented, I think it's time to start spreading new rumors Calvin cheated on Taylor at a Gelson's with a doughnut because OBVIOUSLY he's up to no good whenever he goes anywhere.
