What It’s Like To Be A Really Hairy Person

It’s what’s underneath that counts.

1. So you’re a really hairy person.

And you’ve known it your whole life.

2. Because you were a toddler when you bought your first razor.

3. Your elementary school pictures always featured that all-too-familiar unibrow.

À la Megan Fox.

4. And when you were in middle school, you were your own Chia Pet.

Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer / Via http://tumblr.com

While everyone else was just getting armpit fuzz.

5. BECAUSE YOU’RE A REALLY HAIRY PERSON.

6. As you got older, you thought it would get better.

Via http://pandawhale.com

But it just got thicker.

7. And as your friends became sexually active…

YOU DIDN’T.

8. But you hoped someone out there wouldn’t mind shacking up with a rug.

9. And the hair would be some sort of kinky turn on.

New Line Cinema / Via giphy.com

10. BECAUSE YOU HAVE SO MUCH OF IT.

11. It’s like every day someone has to remind you of the monkey on your back.

Paramount Pictures

12. Like you aren’t already aware of the situation every time you look at your watch.

13. And you need at least a week to prepare for a bathing suit.

14. Because those endless cycles of exfoliating and shaving weren’t going to happen by themselves.

15. BECAUSE YOU HAVE SO MUCH HAIR.

Lucasfilm / Via http://movember.com

16. To combat the situation, you’ve tried ALL the different kinds of hair removal.

NBC / Via http://tumblr.com

17. Like waxing.

Universal Pictures / Via http://tumblr.com

But that was too painful to cover the lawn on your body.

18. So you thought you’d try laser hair removal.

But it was too expensive for your entire skin blanket.

19. So you moved onto hair threading.

But the threaders had to come up with frightening new methods to trim your massive hedges.

20. So you had to settle with Nair.

And to this day, you can still smell the chemicals burning your body.

21. ALL BECAUSE YOU’RE A REALLY HAIRY PERSON.

22. But at the end of the day, you should be proud of it.

Because after all, it keeps you warm.

23. So here’s to no more crying on summer days.

MTV / Via giphy.com

24. Just because you’re a really hairy person.

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