Truth: They didn’t want to deal with the hassles of potty training.
Truth: You were conceived on a drunken night in high school.
Truth: Chocking hazard.
But they seriously shouldn’t have bought you Razzles then.
Truth: They were going to scam you no matter what.
Truth: They wanted the Halloween candy all for themselves.
Truth: They had you buckle up for your safety. But mainly to avoid a ticket.
Truth: The ice cream man had an endless supply of creamsicles waiting to please your tastebuds.
Truth: THERE WAS NO REASON FOR THIS. After numbers 1-20, they became serial liars and probably still lie to you to this day.