13 Burning Questions For Ketchup Lovers

We need to sit down and catch up.

For the all the people who love / enjoy / consume ketchup, I have a handful of burning questions for you.

*takes deep, confident breath*

Let's get started shall we?

1. Is all of ketchup a joke?

FremantleMedia North America

I'm willing to step back if this has been a ruse.

2. Do you seriously enjoy red paste?

20th Century Fox

Ketchup is overrated. It's not a big deal. It's not even "good" and should never be treated as such.

3. Do you think that's what a tomato tastes like?

NBCUniversal Television

Because ketchup is not even remotely close. Stop dragging tomato's good name through the mud.

4. Have you EVER had enough ketchup?

New Line Cinema

NEED MORE! Every meal is means for additional ketchup and that scares me.

5. How many articles of clothing have you ruined?

You're flirting with danger any time light clothing is present. Those stains are NOT to be trifled with.

6. Why do you hate the fact that I don't like ketchup?

WWE

I'm legally allowed to despise a condiment. Please stop getting angry at me.

7. Doesn't the smell stick with you?

The aroma of tomato-cake-icing is forever ingrained into your skin.

8. Is assaulting the bottle necessary?

Columbia Pictures Television

Smacking or squeezing the life out of it, a ketchup bottle attack is horrific to watch.

9. Did you forget about the watery pre-ketchup?

Broadway Video

It might be worse than actual ketchup, which I thought was scientifically impossible.

10. Why is getting "more packets" such a confrontation?

Good At Bizness Inc.

Those who hand out the packets are not "out to get you". Shouldn't you be exercising some rationing skills? Make the 13 packets you already have last.

11. What's wrong with other condiments?

MTV Networks International

BBQ, honey mustard, ranch, hot sauce. Choose anything but ketchup.

12. Wasn't green ketchup a thing?

Paramount Pictures

I'm not sure you can defend purple ketchup either...

13. Am I doing something wrong?

I've tried to understand but I will never be #teamketchup. Ketchup sucks.