1. It never really gets dark.
This is the town’s skyline at 2 a.m. – sure to confuse all the emerging club-goers into thinking they have just been in a time warp (they probably were).
2. Being Vitamin D deficient for most of the year, the sudden surge of summer sun makes people go bananas.
3. Even the animals don’t know what’s going on.
4. However, whilst the rest of Scotland might strip down and go ‘taps aff’, modest Shetlanders have their own way of cooling off: t-shirts
Which means hilarious tan lines.
5. When summer comes, the beaches go all awe-inspiring on us.
Even big rock cliff things covered in green stuff look pretty cool.
Alright, last one to the top is a rotten egg!
6. It’s the time of year when village halls host the most genial afternoons ever, Sunday teas.
Sugary treats, tea, old people – the perfect date.
7. There aren’t any beer gardens, so we’ve got to make do.
8. The summer months bring a lot of tourists to the Isles…
…and sometimes this guy.
Simon King – half man, half nature.
9. Tis the season to be jolly on Shetland’s infamous birthday buses, which take drinkers on a magical mystery tour around the Isles’ pubs from afternoon to night.
The calm before the Apple Sourz-stained storm at one of the route’s main stops, St Magnus Bay Hotel.
They’re usually in fancy dress…
The wheels on the bus go round and round…
…but sometimes they’re not.
And sometimes they make people think swimming out to things in the middle of the sea for no reason is a good idea.
10. Sun’s just come out? Woah! Let’s go buy so many of these that the supermarkets have none left of!
Disclaimer: disposable barbecues may take half an hour to light because of the breeze. And by then the bloody sun has probably gone.
12. Summer also means casting peats, which are used as a source of fuel.
For this man, size does definitely matter.
13. The season also means Mr. Stripey becoming the most sought-after guy in town.
The ice cream artist formerly known as Gary Coolwhip.
Even wedding parties can’t resist it.
“You do rum and coke right?”
14. And those who want something a tad healthier go wild for strawberries from the island of Yell.
Shetland’s lesser-spotted strawbs – catch ‘em whilst you can.
15. Summer’s the only time of the year you can admire the spectacular cliff views without fear of being blown over the edge
16. Shetland’s got some pretty unique summer events, like the Simmer Dim bikers’ rally.
Right, who wants to put me back on the cross?
Or Da Big Bannock.
Jenson Button, your career has definitely gone downhill.
And last year saw the first Glusstonberry festival be held in a place called Gluss.
Like Glastonbury, Glusstonberry would happily book Metallica. But they’re a bit expensive, so local rock covers band Stallions of the Highway will have to do.
17. And whilst Britain’s cities will probably be cramped and muggy this summer…
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