Labour On TV Vs Labour In Reality

Push! Push! Push!

1. On TV: Everyone knows your due date.

Keeping Up With the Kardashians/ E! / Via
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2. In reality: Everyone asks you “Any news? Have you had that baby yet?”

Parks and Recreation / NBC / Via

“Yes, why of course! I had the baby last week and didn’t tell you.”

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3. On TV: Labour must start with your waters breaking.

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In a public place, of course.

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4. In reality: Your waters breaking is not a precursor to labour.

Disney/ Alice in Wonderland / Via

You face a long and boring wait, analysing every twinge.

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5. On TV: You have one contraction and you are immediately in full-blown labour.

Juno / FOX / Via
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6. In reality: You spend six hours faffing with contraction-timing apps, wondering if this is active labour yet.

The Office / NBC / Via
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7. On TV: There is a 98% chance that you will never make it to the hospital in time.

Glee / FOX / Via
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8. In reality: You get to the hospital, twice, only to be sent back home because you aren’t in established labour yet.

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9. On TV: Your partner’s No. 1 job is to panic and make the situation more about them.

Friends / NBC/

Friends / NBC/

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10. In reality: Your partner’s No. 1 job is to know where everything is in your labour bag.

Flickr: dichohecho / Via Creative Commons
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11. On TV: You arrive at the hospital at pushing stage.

What to Expect When You’re Expecting/ Lionsgate / Via

“This baby is coming NOW!”

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12. In reality: You arrive at the hospital for your induction.

Walk around. Get put on a Pitocin drip, spend quite a few hours in labour, and THEN reach pushing stage.

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13. On TV: It’s someone’s job to yell at you to push.

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14. In reality: NO ONE needs to tell you to push.

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15. On TV: An inexperienced stranger or friend delivers your baby.

Community / NBC / Via
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16. In reality: A midwife or a doctor delivers your baby.

Mindy Project / FOX
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17. On TV: Congratulations, you’ve given birth to a squeaky-clean six-month-old.

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18. In reality: Congratulations, you’ve given birth to an angry walnut.

3pix Studio Associato di Garelli, Maccolini e Piana / Via Thinkstock
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19. On TV: Visitors can come in immediately. It’s one big party and you look GREAT. Yay!

Modern Family / ABC
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20. In reality: You require a long, thorough shower before you will consider receiving visitors.

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21. On TV: Your hospital room is super nice, and you are the only one there!

Friends / NBC
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22. In reality: You are sharing a postnatal ward with five other women and you can’t wait to get out of there.

Flickr: mdorn / Via Creative Commons
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23. On TV: You’re up and about as if nothing’s changed.

What to Expect When You’re Expecting/Lionsgate / Via
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In reality: You need stitches.

What to Expect When You’re Expecting/Lionsgate / Via
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24. On TV: Placenta delivery is about as mythical as unicorns.

The Simpsons / FOX / Via
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25. In reality: You decide between a physiological third stage and an actively managed third stage.

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26. On TV: Your partner becomes overcome with emotion at the sight of their newborn baby.

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27. In reality: Your partner tells you how tired they are.

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