Um…what? Eggs aren’t chicken periods, they’re (kind of) aborted chicken chicks.

‘Murica for the win.
*insert sarcasm here^*

You shut your whore mouth.

I’ve got a golden, too! They’re the best :)

I live in Ohio and our public schools have stopped teaching kids to write in cursive. It’s ridiculous.

I see what you did there…

My thoughts exactly. It’s looks like it would be better placed in “Alleys To Get Mugged In Around The World”

This.

This.

Do an American accent. You’ve got lots of options: southern, northern, East, West, Boston…switch it up everyday.