2. The only genre of music you know anymore is “soft rock.”
“Oh. Rod Stewart again.”
3. Your hips need chiropractic realignment.
4. You’re deaf in one ear.
Because Greg has strong political beliefs.
5. Other people get in the way of your morning selfies.
6. You know the secret nickname that Karen’s boyfriend has for her.
Because Karen doesn’t know how to turn the speaker down on her phone.
7. Every single one of your cup holders has fast food cups in them.
8. You snap awake every time your head hits the pillow.
Because Caroline screamed that one time you dozed off on her.
9. You carry air freshener around as if it were mace.
Because of Clint. Thanks, Clint.