Be More Like Ryan Gosling: A Comprehensive Guide

Because let's face it, your girlfriend likes you, but she loves The Gos.

Feminist Ryan Gosling

Okay yeah, this may not seem fair because Ryan isn't actually advocating feminist ideals 24/7, but the whole concept did stem from a kernel of truth. When Blue Valentine received it's NC-17 rating partially due to the fact that Ryan's character performs oral sex on Michelle Williams, he spoke out against it stating, “ ‘Black Swan’ has an oral scene between two women, and that’s an R rating, but ours is between a husband and his wife, and that’s NC-17?” Homeboy had a valid point. In the media's eyes, a woman sexually pleasing another woman is "hot". A man sexually pleasing a woman is "porn". Women everywhere, including Danielle Henderson, founder of Feminist Ryan Gosling, took notice of his reverence. Commence major swoonage and an immortalized matriarch hero.

Lesson to be learned: I've said it once and I'll say it a thousand times, there is nothing sexier than a man that thinks that his rights should be my rights too. How outspoken you are about women's rights is directly proportionate to the amount of poon you're able to get. Trust me on that one.

He's a genuinely good person

Remember that British expat he soccer mom'ed because the poor guy looked the wrong way crossing the street and almost stepped into oncoming traffic? And who can forget the East Village fight he broke up last summer? And how he's seen taking his mom to more premieres than any sexy starlet? I'd be hard-pressed to find a quality more attractive than someone who was raised right. Momma Gosling did goooood.

Lesson to be learned: You don't have to have super powers to be a hero. These small acts of benevolence aren't inaccessible to common folk such as yourself. People-ahem ladies-take notice of the small things. You never know who's watching you be a decent human being.

He has charm like you can't even imagine

And not canned, used car salesman charm. Real Canadian charm. People talk about how good looking he is in front of him...a lot. You can tell how genuinely uncomfortable he is with that, which makes me want to do unspeakable acts to him all the more readily. He's a really good sport about how crazy the ladies are over him, and his "aw shucks I'm such a schmuck you people are nuts" attitude is such a ridiculous turn on. As if we could be more in love with him.

Lesson to be learned: We want you to be confident, absolutely. But the line between "confident" and "cocky arrogant dickhole" is a line too often blurred. Less is more. Even if you could bang every chick in the room, there's a 99% chance we've already realized that. No need to revel in it outwardly. You know you're hot. We know you're hot. Now feign some humility and watch the line of ladies form.

He's obsessed with candy and footie pajamas

In his GQ interview in 2011 (let the record state this is the one and only time I've ever purchased GQ) Ryan gushed about his love affair with all things sugary and full of red dye #40. For someone who looks like he was chiseled out of marble in 25 BC, this is a little frustrating. But so freakin' cute. Because come on, picturing Gosling coming home from an insane work out, ripping off his shirt (sorry, I just can't picture this happening clothed), and unwrapping a Baby Ruth and going to town on that bad boy is just too awesome. And though I mostly like to picture him exclusively naked, thinking of him in an adult onesie with rocket ships all over it is a close second.

Lesson to be learned: Don't be afraid of liking something "uncool". Tell us about your little quirks, it makes you interesting. Most guys think they should avoid being labeled as "precious" or "adorable" like the plague, but that's such an old wives tale. We're into cute, okay? We know you're a big strong man with a big working penis. Liking something "emasculating" just makes you seem more human.

He's super into his dog

Need I say more?

Lesson to be learned: C'mon gentlemen. Cute pups are the ultimate pussy magnent. Everyone knows that.