5. Only sits in fancy chairs to highlight his masculine folds.
6. “I really resent your condescending tone when you speak about my rolls.”
21. “I love my rolls because 1. I can hide things 2. They’re soft 3. They’re sexy.”
26. “I’m not sleeping, I’m exercising my wrinkles. Gotta make sure they stay nice and pronounced.”
Here Are The Top Stories
- Kids in California schools can no longer be opted out of vaccination on religious or personal grounds under a new law.
- New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, who has faced political fallout from the "Bridgegate" scandal, is running for president. He's the 14th Republican in the race.
- Misty Copeland has become the first black female principal dancer in American Ballet Theater's 75-year history.