5. Only sits in fancy chairs to highlight his masculine folds.
6. “I really resent your condescending tone when you speak about my rolls.”
21. “I love my rolls because 1. I can hide things 2. They’re soft 3. They’re sexy.”
26. “I’m not sleeping, I’m exercising my wrinkles. Gotta make sure they stay nice and pronounced.”
In The News Today
- About 6,500 refugees have reached Austria. Austria and Germany said on Friday that stranded refugees in Hungary could cross their borders. ›
- Rowan County, Kentucky, issued several marriage licenses, but their validity is being questioned because jailed clerk Kim Davis's name isn't on them. ›
- U.S. Vice President Joe Biden said he isn't sure he has the "emotional energy" to run for president. ›