1. Learn what his favorite treats are.
2. Purchase 6 pieces of sheet metal.
3. Shine up those metals real nice.
4. Did you learn his favorite treats yet? Good. Go buy them.
5. Get some bolts while you’re out, like a handful probably.
6. Buy a wrench.
7. Bring supplies to his residence.
8. Make a box, leave one side open.
9. You may have eaten some of those snacks, go back and buy new ones.
10. Pick yourself up a sandwich.
11. Don’t eat sandwich yet.
12. Do your nails if you like, you deserve it and god forbid he saw you with undone nails.
13. Spray yourself with perfume.
14 Take a nap, you need your rest.
15. When you wake up, you can do a few jumping jacks to get your face flushed.
16. No need for deodorant, this will help lure him.
17. If you put it on, go back to sleep and sweat it off.
18. Wake up, ideally feeling refreshed and ready for action.
19. Put on something that makes you feel powerful but comfortable.
20. Get some hinges so that door works.
21 While you’re there, get some chips ‘cause chips are delicious and what were you thinking getting a sandwich without chips?
22. Find a big stick.
23. Do some exercises with the stick. Just ‘cause you’re busy, doesn’t mean you can’t squeeze in some time to sweat.
24. Make a door.
25. Prop up door with the stick.
26. Rub raw meat all around the container. If you’re a vegetarian, seitan works. This is just for fun.
27. Put his treats in the middle of the container you have just made.
28. Hang up a mirror.
29. Spin around in this glory because you just made this. YOU MADE IT.
30. Stare at a single spot to stop from being dizzy.
31. Sit down if you need to, he probably won’t be home for another hour.
32. Write a cute note like “Hey there!” or “Don’t be worried”.
33. Give yourself a wink in the mirror. Because confidence is key.
34. Grab your sandwich.
35. Do you have your sandwich?
36. Leave the container.
37. Make sure you still have your sandwich.
39. When he comes home, give him a nice long wink and gesture to your glorious box.
40. If you’re shy, you can hide and wait but bold is usually the way to go.
41. He will undoubtedly go inside, once he grabs the note and treats BAM! the door will shut.
42. Sit outside, wonder why you went through all that effort.
43. Laugh it off, throwing your fabulous hair behind you.
44. Eat your sandwich, that was very hard work.
45. Open door, let him out.
46. Make note if he is a bear or a man.
47. Reevaluate your priorities.
- Three major U.S. airlines — Delta, American, and United — have banned the transport of big game trophies after the illegal killing of Cecil the lion in Zimbabwe.
- On August 4th, 2011, the death of Mark Duggan — an unarmed black man — at the hands of police officers in north London sparked nationwide riots.
- Two people were killed and at least 22 injured after a circus tent collapsed amid stormy weather Monday evening in New Hampshire.