2. “This shall be my biggest accomplishment for the day. Cat out.”
3. “Finding a new minimal effort way to annoy you is not ‘doing nothing’ with my day.”
6. “This lace is too difficult to rip. Done catting for the day.”
7. “Hey. It took effort to train the dog to do this. Let me reap my rewards.”
8. “I’m just gonna wait here til my next meal, it makes more sense this way.”
11. “OK, I started cleaning myself and fell asleep. It’s not like I’m wearing sweatpants all day again.”
14. “I know we have company coming over, but why would I get dressed up when this is my true, natural state?”
15. “I wear this hat because I don’t have the fight left in me.”
16. “I’ll let you paint me as one of your French girls if you feed me more grapes.”
17. “Filing more like….uh, I don’t even care to finish that thought.”
18. “I can’t with this seagull but I even more can’t with caring.”
20. “I know how I look right now and frankly, it’s your problem if you’re offended.”
22. “You think it would be ‘good to go out and socialize’? I’ll good and socialize you with my door.”
24. “I know what you said about the importance of this fax but….eh.”
25. “I know I said I was training for the marathon but seriously, that’s a crazy thing to ever agree to.”
30. “I could put my tongue back in my mouth if I wanted but I don’t want to so leave me alone, OK?”
33. “Look, I’ve tried this cat thing for a while, and I’m just over it.”
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