1.
"Hey, wanna see my biggest accomplishment? Yeah, that's right. I did that."
2.
"LOL, like that's so hard."
4.
"I made this car with my own four paws!"
5.
"HAHAH GOT THE CAT ONCE AGAIN."
6.
"Ah yes, the secrets of the universe. I know them."
7.
"I got up here all by myself. What are you going to do about it?"
8.
"Are those the clothes you wore last night?"
9.
"Oh, guac was extra? Tell me more, please."
10.
"My hobby is annoying my cat and I am VERY good at it."
11.
"I let the ladies come to ME."
12.
"Yes, I found the best sun spot. Yes, you should be jealous."
13.
"Yeah, I pretty much invented taking the cushion out of the pillow to make it more comfortable. Don't act like you're not impressed."
14.
"I know I'm not supposed to gloat but I beat you in TWO different relay races! BAHAHA."
15.
"You're home! So glad you can see what I created!"
16.
"Want a piece of this?"
17.
"Welcome home, bitches!"
